Tunic - White House Black Market
Shorts - Eunina
Shoes - Saucony
Belt - Linea Pella
I put this outfit on yesterday morning while preparing to go to Costco. I put on a number of various tops over the tunic trying to find something that looked good and covered my arms. Alas, nothing worked and I was getting a bit despondent about the outfit. I caught myself quickly and realized the real problem, I liked the outfit without anything else, I just didn't like my arms.
I would like to say that I didn't like my arms showing but again that would be wrong, the real truth is that while I like my arms while I am in guy mode, in girl mode I feel like my arms make me look like the Incredible Hulk. Which is utterly irrational, I know, but it is an unshakable feeling.
While debating my dilemma I sought Jules' opinion. She thought the outfit looked great and I didn't need to add anything else. Which is when I hit her with the zinger about my giant man arms. She gave me a roll of the eyes and told me to get the tape measure. We then proceeded to measure each of arms at the bicep. Our arms were straight down, the way most people would see them if we are out and about. My bicep measured about 12.5 inches around. Her was 14 inches around.
I then explained to her, jokingly, that people would come at me with pitchforks and torches if they saw my arms. We laughed and I had to shut the heck up about having big arms. Thanks wifey :)
At Costco that day by myself, Jules had a lunch date with a friend, I walked around like anything other time, except for that my arms were out. And do you know what happened? Absolutely nothing!! Well I got my stuff, checked out, was asked several times "Ma'am would you like help loading that?" (I was buying flooring.) Which I declined. I walked to my truck, and began loading my stuff.
It was about then that I realized another big mistake I had made that day. Silly me, I need to start accepting peoples offer's of assistance. I shook my head at my own ridiculous preconceived notions yet again. Silly me!!
I need to learn that my brain comes up with thoughts/actions/beliefs for others that just aren't true. Nobody is going to pitchfork me for having my arms out, in fact the vast majority of people, if they even look at me at all, will forget about ever seeing me oh about 5 minutes after I am gone. When people offer help, they actually would like to help.
The truth is that when I think I know what someone else is thinking about me, it is really only what my brain can come up, thus it is me that thinks these things, not others. I don't need to be afraid of others, I need to be suspicious of my own voices in my own head.
The older I get the more I am learning to listen to myself and I understand that my voices are often assholes. I am on a mission to ferret out the assholes that hide within my thoughts.
Hmm.. too deep? Sorry, this is supposed to be a fashion blog, I know right!!
Love you
Listen to yourself
And if you don't like what you hear
Change it
You can do it
I believe in you...
in me...
in all of us....
:)
I loved the fact that used "despondent", Such an excellent word.
ReplyDeleteJrex225@Gmail.com
Thanks, I too like that one. :)
DeleteYou look fantastic and really need to let go of the arm thing. They do not look big as you fear; they look normal. Adorable outfit as per usual! Bunny hugs!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks bunny love!
DeleteI spent a day out the other week. Went through half a dozen tops before reluctantly settling on one that showed my arms and shoulders far too much. Took a light sweater to cover up but didn't wear it in the end.
ReplyDeleteSurprisingly the world didn't end and I actually had some conversations with a couple of people while waiting around for my family and they didn't run away screaming at the sight of my arms and shoulders.
Love the top.
It is so odd what we humans build up to be a big deal. Like my arms are going to be the deal breaker? Hardly. Sounds like it was the same for you.
DeleteThanks for sharing your experience. Funny right? As if they would have run away screaming, but I so picture the same thing! Ahhhh kill the monster!!! Ridiculous!
Thanks Jenna!
you are sooooo right our perception of ourselfs is so different than the world sees of us.
ReplyDeleteThank you Diana
DeleteSo right about the voices in our head. They so often convince us of things that are not true and hold us back from doing what we want or should be doing. I try to shut mine up by saying the opposite to myself out loud in a mirror. That works for me!
DeleteWhat a great idea to try. I have been saying some mean things about myself outloud around my wife and she keeps calling me on it. I should try your method as it sounds far healthier than mine. Thanks cutie!
DeleteWOW! for a fashion blog... you got me thinking... to the point that I had to write...When I was young… I wanted to be a ………..great worker… a man who was appreciated for his knowledge. Somewhere down the road of life, I became a philosopher. Didn’t want to be a gossip, but I seem to spend large amounts of time thinking and rethinking various subjects.
ReplyDeleteIt’s wonderfully SAD……………(I've been to meek to long)
It seems I’ve found this too late in my life, and that crossdressing, is the reason I’ve come to grips with it.
I do think, that I’m going step out…speak out...as ……………(her? Me?) and BOLDLY go forth. I’ll be the one that starts the conversations, I’ll seek change (s) There’s no time like now to get started….
I love it!! There is no time like now and from my experience it does indeed begin with ourselves. Good luck to you sweetie!!
Delete