My Hair

On occasion I receive compliments on my hair.  I really appreciate the thoughts but I also feel super guilty and almost immediately have to tell people that it isn't actually my real hair.  It is something that I need to stop doing.  Who cares if people know that it is my real hair or not, right?  

I suppose I am the only one who really cares and ultimately it is a result of having not voluntarily given up my hair.  Alas there are many things that continually bum me out about the lasting effects of testosterone, and a huge one has got to be the loss of my hair.  If you don't know, losing one's hair is typically a result of testosterone converting to DHT (dihydrotestosterone,) it can also come about in females from DHEA and testosterone also converting to DHT. Exciting stuff, huh?  Oh boy! It is interesting that while baldness typically affects men, it is also a problem for many women.  Bummer! 

Point being, if I had started estrogen and spiro oh so long ago, like anywhere before age 18 or so, I would most likely have super luxurious hair today!  Okay, maybe not, but I'd have more hair than what I have today.  Wanna see?  Okay, here ya go.

That was my senior photo.  I was eighteen at the time.  Like the color?  Well it is sort of natural.  I spent so much time swimming in pools and at the beach, the salt and chlorine would totally bleach out my hair.  Personally I really liked the color.  I think occasionally I assisted the sun with some Sun-In or peroxide.  But generally that color is what I consider my natural hair color to be.  

I think this whole hair thing has got to be funny for people that have met me within the last fifteen to twenty years.  That is about how long it has been since I shaved it all off.  People have asked me on occasion as to why I don't grow it out again.  If I could, I would.  Seriously.  It is not super noticeable how much hair loss I have when I keep it cut super short - like no guard on the clippers short.  But if it grows for more than a week or two, you clearly see the typical male pattern baldness toilet seat pattern.  

Alrighty, anywho - I have no hair unless I wear my wig.  But, if I did have hair, it would be close to the same color as the wigs I chose to wear.  Which is one of the things about my wig style and color that helps to make my hair look a bit more natural.  Oh and also the fact that I buy rather expensive-ish wigs.  They are Jon Renau, one is the Zara, and the other is the Amber.  I do however have a rather largish head and thus I will only purchase wigs that have specifically been made using a large wig cap.  This is a big issue.  Most males do have large-ish heads and standard sized wig caps just do not sit right on our heads.  It is not a matter of it just being too tight, it is the wrong size.  It looks a lot like a small baseball cap sitting on top of a Charlie Brown head.  Well, for me at least.  

Okie Dokie peeps!  I am outta here!  

Love you!

Love your hair!

Yes, even if it is "just" a wig.  Come on, every bodies doing it, right?!

Hair Removal IPL Update - 1 Year Later

LumaRX - IPL - From Amazon

It has been about a year since I updated you all on my hair removal progress.  Mostly that has been because over the last summer I stopped using it as you are not supposed to use it if you are getting a tan, and with all of my outdoor activities I generally do tan quite a bit.  Thus I stopped for the summer, but I had fully intended to continue using it once my tan faded.

Alas, life got in the way and I did not zap myself nearly as much as I would have liked over this past winter.  And what do we have quickly approaching us again?  Yup summer!

Well, even though that bothered me a bit and I was quite annoyed with myself that I didn't do it more, I realized that really said something about the effectiveness of this product.  I only used it on my body maybe three or four times last year and the resulting hair growth was so minimal that it really didn't bug me that much.  Oh sure, I still have hair growing where I would prefer to not have hair growing, but it is seriously diminished.  So much so that it doesn't bother me nearly as much as it did when I originally began this adventure.

The Good:
- My arms are almost basically hairless.  I still shave them but I often wonder why as I generally don't even see hair on them.  That is fantastic!  I really don't even feel stubble on them anymore.  Woo-Hoo!!  So on the arms this was fantastic!

- My chest is also almost hairless.  It does still grow hair that I notice, but gosh not nearly as much as it used to.  I generally go about a week between shaves now, and even then it is super sparse and not nearly as noticeable as it used to be.

The Medium:
- My lower legs are doing well, but they are still growing quite a bit of hair, maybe about half of what they used to, but it is a good result.

The Not So Good:
- My upper thighs and bikini line still have most of the hair.  But admittedly this is one of the hardest areas for me to zap well.  Thus I haven't done it as much as my chest, which was really the most annoying area for me.

- My belly still has most of the hairs growing.  This area does annoy me and is generally the impetus for me shaving my chest/belly each week.  The small fine hairs grow out, form stubble, and then proceed to poke me.  Annoying.

- Arm pits - I haven't noticed much hair diminishing from this area at all.

The machine itself:
- I have not used any other IPL machines, but this is a quality product that has held up well over the past year.  It is still delivering good light zaps.

- This machine requires a large amount of pull from the electrical system in your house.  I have had some difficulties with the machine beeping to me indicating that it can't draw the required voltage from the wiring.  Most of my home circuits are 15 amp rated and it quickly heats up those lines and the machine wont function.  It works better on the 20 amp lines I have.  But even then, with trying to zap your entire body in one sitting, the machine itself will heat up and will beep and will not function anymore.  This generally takes about an hour or two to occur, but it is still kind of annoying.  Considering how much electricity it takes to operate I don't know if any other machine would function much better than this one.  Maybe if there is a more "professional" level of machine it would handle more zapping at one sitting before over heating.  Who knows?  I don't!

Overall, I am super happy with this purchase and I think it was well worth the money when you consider the costs of doing this in a professional setting and having to pay somebody else.  I also like the convenience of pulling it out whenever I want.

Okie Dokie!

Love you!

Love yourself!

Boo-hiss body hair!!  Well at least to me.  Maybe if you are FtM, then you love body hair and want more.  Can I give you mine?

Max Tara Breast Form Review

Max Tara AS

You may remember one of my recent posts about forgetting my breast forms at a hotel, which meant that I am in need of some replacement boobs.  The ones that I lost were from The Breast Form Store, and retailed for about $200.  Wow!  I decided to try the Max Tara forms above being as they were selling for about $23 a piece and they do sell them separately, as a left and a right.  But still they were less than a fourth of the price of the lost ones.

Being as I am an Amazon Prime member, I got the new forms in about 2 days from ordering.  Which is awesome!!  They arrived in the standard Amazon packaging, and it has been a couple of months since I got them, so I totally forget how they were individually packaged inside of the Amazon box.  They arrived in fine condition though.

My immediate thoughts were, they were huge, and super soft!  I purchased the 300 gram size.  I thought that would be an okay size as they were advertised as an A or a B cup breast.  Part of the problem with this is that cup size is a ratio with your band size.  If you put a 300 gram breast on someone with a 36 inch band, it will appear much bigger than if it is on someone with a 42 inch band.  For your reference, generally I wear a 38B bra.  I would prefer a 38A, but that is a super uncommon size.  So I settle for a 38B.

Thus, with these breast forms, I had to go through all of my bras and figure out which ones would work with these forms.  The sad truth was that none of them worked.  They were way too big.  The other thing about these forms is that they kind of have two wings.  One extends up and one extends to the side.  It can give the impression of a more full breast.  But it also means that it needs to have a larger more full coverage bra.  Lucky for me, Jules has kept about every single bra she has ever owned and allowed me to rummage through her leftovers.  I found some that worked, but that put me up to a 38C/36D OMG!  Way too big for me!

What I do like about these forms though is how soft they are.  They are more squishy than my lost ones and Jules and I both feel as though they have a very good feel to them.  They are very breast like in consistency.  Oh and something else I forgot to mention, they are also lightly concave.  And one more thing, there are nipples, but they are not very prominent and they are not a different color in anyway.

Overall, for the price, they are super good!  They are just way too big for me.  I think I need something like half of that size.  Oh..... and as well, generally I don't wear my forms while out and about dressed as a woman.  They tend to be something quick, simple, and easy for me to just pop in and give me a some boos while hanging out.  That could be why I think they are too big; they don't suit my purposes.

Hmmm...... the last thing I might say is that overall, I really didn't see much differences between the $45 dollar breast forms and the $200 ones.  You would think that for $200 they would be so totally amazing that they would put anything else to shame!  Alas, that is not my experience.  While I am not happy with this pair, and I will continue to try and find something better for my needs, I can't see justifying such expensive forms as the ones I lost.

And further, The Breast Form Store, a great place BTW, has breasts that sell for like $400.  What do they do?  Shoot fireworks out of the nipples?  What?  What could it be for $400?  And that is why I think some people will buy them.  For $400, they must be just like real boobs!  But seriously, I don't think they would be any better than bargain priced boobs.

Okie dokie!  I will continue to update you on my newest boob search!

Love you!

Love yourselves!

Love trying out new boobs!

Oh - and while yes I do receive some compensation as a result of you clicking some of my links, I did not receive any special compensation for reviewing these breast forms.

Cookies!

Jenaluca - Awesome Scoops!

One of the things I really enjoy doing is baking.  I have enjoyed it since a young kid and I continue to really enjoy it.  Though I do think it is a bit funny how many people tell me that they are so impressed by my baking talents and that it is amazing.  Maybe it is because they perceive me to be a male and are stereotypical in their gender assigned roles in life, i.e. men can't cook!  Ha!  Either assumption is wrong!  That men can't cook, and that I am a mere male! Ha!

Anywho....... I have really gotten much more into cookie making as of late.  I have inherited a family cookie cookbook and am currently working my way through it attempting to make every cookie in the book.  The book isn't that awesome of a thing.  It's not like some family heirloom.  It is just a Betty Crocker Cookie Book from like 1962 or some such thing.  I mean that does make it about 50-60 years old huh?

Okay, so I am making lots of cookies lately and one of the things I have struggled with is consistent cookie size.  It finally occurred to me to search Amazon for cookie scoops.  I mean, duh!  What took me so long??  It's almost as if I'm just an amature at all of this cooking stuff!  Ha!

Well Jules ended up buying me some different sized scoops for this past Christmas and I was super happy.  Until I took them out of their package.  Uh... super cheap!  I mean super super cheap!!  So cheap that one of the three was already broken and I didn't even care.  I told her, thank you very much but just send them back.  Off I went then onto the search for the awesome-est cookie scoops ever!

I happened upon the Jenaluca scoops.  They had pretty good reviews and appeared to be of high quality craftsmanship.  I took a gamble and ordered them.  I say a gamble, because they were some of the highest priced scoops available on Amazon.

Anywho...... they arrived in the mail and I excitedly opened them.  Immediately I could tell they are a high quality product.  They are made out of good material and are of an excellent design.  But low I was dismayed when I tried the smallest scoop and it stuck a minor amount.  Jules said I should just go with it as it still worked.  But really, when making cookies, lots of cookies, I really don't want anything to stick ever.  Besides for the price, who wants a mostly good product?  Nobody!

I thought about it for a day or so and then I emailed Jenaluca and explained what happened.  Within a day or two I got a reply that said how sorry they were and asked where they could send the replacement scoop.  Shocking!  I didn't even provide a receipt or anything!  I gave them my address and within two days, I had a replacement school at my door.  Inside the box was the new scoop, which operated perfectly, and the kicker?  They included a handwritten note explaining how sorry they were for their negligence in having provided a product that clearly missed their quality control!

Wow!  I was simply amazed by their customer service!  I mean they make a great product, but to also give such awesome customer service, they have earned a customer for life!  I am really curious what else this awesome company makes!

So..... if you are in the market for awesome scoops, check out Jenaluca!

Seriously.

I know this is just a lowly little blog and all.

And I know that I gain something off of advertising products and you clicking on them.

But seriously!  These things are great and this company rocks!

Love you!

IPL Hair Removal - Update

Here we have a picture of my chest.  This photo was taken at two weeks after shaving.  Does it look hairy to you?  Yeah, it looks pretty hair free to me as well.  If you zoom in on it a bit you might be able to spot the hairs that still remain.  But hey, that is pretty darn near hair free huh?

On this photo you can more easily see the remaining hairs in my armpit.  Again this photo was taken two weeks after the last time that I shaved.

Overall I am very impressed with the results of my IPL experiment.  In total I have zapped myself about 4 or 5 times.  The directions are that you are supposed to wait 2 weeks between zaps.  I have followed those directions for the most part.  From the start til now I could probably have zapped it a few more times, but I have been lazy!

From Amazon

I don't know if you can tell from my photos, but I have multicolored body hair and that is a problem for IPL hair removal.  The darker hairs have been pretty much entirely removed, but the lighter colored hairs are still there.  But I don't mind the lighter colored hairs so much.  It really is the darker ones that really bug me.

I have been using the LumaRX IPL Hair removal system as an experiment, trying to decide if the 4-5 hundred dollar investment is really worth it.  And my overall opinion???????  YES, it is SO worth it.  I will then obviously keep this unit and I will continue to zap away at some of the more difficult stragglers.  I will keep you updated!!

Love ya!  

Oh...... I did want to say, that overall my goal is a total hair free body, and that is not what I have achieved so far, nor do I think that I will ever actually achieve that state.  With all of the light colored hairs it may very well prove an impossibility.  But, the hair loss I have achieved is very much worth the cost.  As well, if you are considering going to a professional, and your skin and hair is the right type, this is well worth the investment.  If you buy this and use it first, before going to professional route, there will be far fewer hairs for the professional to attack.  So.... to me.... it is totally worth it.

Hate hair!

Well unless you love hair, then Love hair!

But for me, hate hair!

Well...... hate body hair...... I would LOVE my natural head hair back again...... oh so sad it had to depart from my life...... booooo-hooooo-hooooo!!!

Loves!

Tend Skin vs. PFB Vanish

  vs. 

I have been shaving my body off and on pretty much since I started to develop body hair.  From about age eight to sixteen I was a year round competitive swimmer.  When you begin to get into the really competitive swim meets you are instructed by your coaches to shave your body.  It has been shown to reduce your time by maybe a few parts of a second.  Which in swimming can mean the world!

Anywho.... ever since I started shaving, I have been experiencing various shaving maladies.  From red little shaving bumps to full on nasty looking giant volcano sized in-grown hairs.  It has always been especially bad in three different areas.  1 - my inner thighs (possibly the worst area,) 2 - the back of my thighs, and 3 - from my pubic hair to my belly button.

Certain things will help, like shaving with the grain, only shaving like every three or so days, sloughing with a scrub while in the shower, but none of those things ever completely eliminated the problems I have been having.  And this covers about thirty years.

So... for the last six months or so, I have been trying a proactive approach.  It used to be that I would only deal with the red bumps or the in-growns once they arrived.  Now I am trying chemical warfare against them, prior to ever even getting them.

The two products I have tried are PFB-Vanish and Tend Skin.

I started with PFB-Vanish and found it to work wonderfully.  I apply it once a day to the three most affected areas on my body.  After a few weeks, the bumps and in-growns receded and never really redeveloped.  I also noticed that my skin was less prone to razor burn as well, I have begun to shave against the grain with very nice results.  I still do not shave every day, maybe at most a couple of times per week.  But if I ever do get any sign of in-growns, they are generally gone within a day or two and never develop into the volcanoes that I used to get.

PFB-Vanish can come in two sizes.  One of them is smaller and has a roller ball bottle from which you apply the solution.  The last time I ordered it I got the larger bottle that does not have the roller ball and I just pour a bit into my hands and rub it onto my legs and belly.

Several of my readers suggested that I try Tend Skin as it is generally more economical and a bit easier to apply as it is a thinner consistency than PFB-Vanish.  You apply Tend Skin to a cotton ball and then apply it to your body.  I only lasted about two weeks while testing it before I chose to switch back to PFB-Vannish.  I developed in-growns again and I was again developing issues with razor burn.  My wife however likes Tend Skin better than PFB-Vanish.  She tends to develop small bumps on her butt and Tend Skin applied nightly has totally removed them for her.

Both PFB-Vanish and Tend Skin have a very strong odor of rubbing alcohol.  While it is a bit strong, I do not mind the smell and it tends to disappear rather quickly.  Though I did once try the PFB-Vanish with Chromabrite and I hated the smell!  They must have included some sort of perfume in the formula and I did not like the smell at all.  It does not dissipate and it left me smelling as though I had applied perfume.

So..... in the end.... I will stick with PFB-Vanish and my wife will stick with Tend Skin.  What I see is that PFB-Vanish is a stronger formula, which is good for my thicker skin and Tend Skin is a weaker mix which is better for my wife's more delicate skin.

What about you?  Do you have other products you user to help relieve the irritation from shaving?  Please share, as I would love to give it a whirl and try it out!

Thanks!

Love you!

Love your skin!

A Couple of Dresses I Want

Isabelle Lace Sleeve Sheath Dress in Black - $36.00

I really want to try out this dress but can't decide if I am going to commit and order it or not.  I am such a try-it-on person that I am often somewhat nervous about testing out internet purchases.  I know many TG folks that the only way they do any shopping is through online sources.  I suppose that personally I am a bit intimidated by online shopping as I don't like having to visit the UPS store for my returns.  I guess I am just lazy!

But seriously, the price of this dress is just begging me to go for it!  I also really like the low cut V in the front.  It looks seriously good for using my cleavage creation techniques with.  The other thing I really like about this dress are the lace arms.  Yay - something that covers my arms, but still gives me a bit of cooling; considering that they are lace.  Hmm.... Interesting.

Doily Routine Lace Dress in Black - on sale!  - $23.95

I also really like this dress.  I am routinely drawn to lace doilies!  So often I pick up items in the store that have lace this way and Jules is always telling me that she does not like to look of grandma's doily.  Well, how about this one honey, it is all doilies!  To the point that it is even in the name of the dress.

Well regardless of Jules' opinion of the doily details, I still really like them.  I wonder if that is a MtF TG person's opinion of lace.  It is SO NOT male, it is almost the epitome of femaleness, at least for me, I wonder if that is what the large draw is.  Hmmm....

Anywho.... obviously I really like the lace throughout the dress, but I also really like the sleeve length.  And come on, that sale price of $23.95.  Hmm... I think I am going to need to whip out that credit card and get me some dresses today!

Okay lovelies, love you!

Love yourself!

Buy things on sale!

Be risky, buy things online!

Crazy talk!

3 Makeup Tips

I am very limited in my ability to utilize makeup as well as I would like to.  I constantly think that maybe there is some sort of magic contained within those glorious little bottles and tubes that will magically transform me into the goddess that I long to be!  But alas, makeup can only do so much for someone.  You gotta recognize where your starting point is.  Things can be improved, but not completely made over.

Such is life huh?

Anywho...  I do have a few makeup tips for you that some of you may find helpful.

1.  The first and foremost is GO GET A MAKEOVER!!!!!  If you are going to choose to wear makeup, then my best advise for you is to get a professional.  I have had only about 3-4 makeovers, but they have been revolutionary in educating me about the products and their application.  It was also quite simple.  I generally dress as a woman, but without any makeup on, walk up to a makeup counter, and ask if they have time to do a makeover.  Each time I have done this, at Clinique and Urban Decay, inside Macy's, the sales associates were extremely accommodating, friendly, and educational.  I was also recently at a Sephora and asked about contouring and the SA sat me down and happily showed me their products and how to use them.

2.  Blotting paper!  Do you know about blotting paper?  Well you should if you don't.  For someone like myself, who has oily skin, this stuff is a face saver!  I love it and use it every time I am dressed, sometimes multiple times a day depending on the heat.  They are quite simple to utilize, pull it out and press it onto your skin and presto, it soaks up the oils like magic.  I have tried a few different brands, but I really like the Shiseido ones.  They are super absorbent and leave nothing behind.

3.  Wipe off your mascara brush.  Jules shared this with me awhile ago and it is a nice little trick.  When you pull out the brush, if it is like the typical fluffy bushy type of brush, then take some tissue and gently wipe off the brush.  Essentially what you are trying to do is to take off some of the product from the brush, but not removing all of it.  Now that you have wiped it off, then apply it as normal.  The product will take more swipes to apply it as there is less on the brush, but with many swipes like this it will apply enough product, but it is not so thick that it clumps on your lashes.  Maybe some of you like that look so if clumps are your thing then avoid this tip!

How about some of you?  Do you have any handy little tips to share?

Love you!

Wear makeup!

Or not.

Photos:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/hippie/2450895917

Cute Dresses at eShakti

I had never heard of eShakti before Sally introduced them to me.  I think they are an excellent place to shop online for everyone, but especially for transgender folks wanting to dress in women's clothes.  Why you ask?  Because you can customize everything they sell!

That is just totally awesome!  Want a shorter or longer dress?  No problem.  Want arms or no arms?  Yup, they can do that also!  Wow.  They can customize far more than I can explain, so click here and check out the site to see for yourself.

While I have yet to try their service, I think I need to give it a whirl after looking at some of their products.  Check out some of these dresses as an example:

eShakti Women's Polka dot chiffon surplice dress - $89.95 now $58.95

You know how much I love polka dots right?  Well, and of course then I love this dress because it has polka dots and is in black and white!  I also like that it is a faux wrap dress that has a hook and eye closure at the top of the neck.  So often with wrap dresses they just do not come together very nicely at the neck line for me, with the hook and eye closure then you know it will always stay at that spot!  

eShakti Women's Contrast floral embroidery poplin dress - was $101.95 now $66.95

I think this dress is super cute as well.  I really like the floral patterns on it, though I would prefer if it was done with embroidery instead of just printed.  But I do still like the look of it.  I also like the color blocking effect with the darker colors in the middle of the dress.  It totally pulls your eye to that center part of the dress, which I obviously highly recommend in most outfits.

eShakti Women's Anchor embellished colorblock dress - was $86.95 now $56.95

Honestly, I really can't tell if I really like this item or not.  It totally catches my eye, but it might be a bit too sailor for me.  I think it is cute.  I like the color block right at the waist and bust.  Again, it pulls your eye to that spot.  I do love the fit of this style of dress and I also really like that it has side seam pockets with it.  Okay, I do like it!

Hope you are well!

Love you!

Buy things on sale!

images:
- eShakti
- http://www.webdesignhot.com/free-vector-graphics/free-colourful-sale-tags-vector-illustration/

Amazing Ingrown Destroyer!

PFB Vanish via Amazon

For the past month or so I have been testing out this product and I am here now to report my amazing results!  I truly am amazed by this stuff.

I have been a shaver for most of my life.  Let's see, I would probably be going on about 30 years or so of shaving at this point.  I have also tried epilating and waxing, which both work just fine, but shaving tends to be what I do the most.

Shaving works great, and I am quite quick at it at this point.  I am probably down to about 20-30 minutes for my entire body!  Wow.  But the thing that I hate about it is ingrowns!  I suffer wildly from ingrowns.  Probably ever single time I shave I end up with about 10 or more ingrowns in various places.  And more often than not they hurt!

Anywho.... I have had an ingrown on my upper inner thigh for several months and the hair just never seemed to want to come to the surface for me to be able to pluck it.  I examined it several times to no avail.  The hair was in there and it was NOT going to come out.  I tried sloughing, and another chemical exfoliator, but nothing was working.  Through some other website I found this product, PFB Vanish and decided to give it a whirl.

It it applied easily enough, you just roll it on the spot.  Being as I have such difficulties with ingrowns, especially on my inner thighs, I began using it over all of my inner thighs and not just on that one stubborn ingrown.  It took about 3-4 weeks, applying it in the morning and and night, but do you know what happened?  Eventually that little bugger of a hair showed its evil little head and I was able to snag it with a pair of tweezers and pop out a nasty little twisted up hair that was about 1/2 - 1 inches long!  Yuck! Nasty!  But YAY for this product!  It actually brought it out and to the surface.

So, it destroyed that long-term nasty giant ingrown I have had for about 3-4 months.  YAY again! But during that time this lovely little product has also kept my other ingrowns to a minimum.  I have developed them, but the little red raised bumps, indicating a start of an ingrown just sort of disappered and never actually developed into full on giant ingrown volcanoes as many of mine do.  They just disappeared within a couple of days.

But wait, there is more!  Once this stuffed showed its merit on ingrowns that had developed I decided to start putting it all over my thighs, which is an area that is notorious for getting ingrowns on me.  I also took a further risk by shaving against the grain of the hair in that location.  I know, not the best, but it really is the only way to have super soft smooth legs.  So I went for it this weekend, and guess what?  No ingrowns developed at all!  And no irritation from shaving!  I am seriously impressed with this stuff. Can you tell?

The one caveat I will say is that your skin will peel a bit from using it.  It was a minor concern for me, but you should be aware of this before you dive into it head on.  It never hurt, but it did cause my skin to experience a mild peeling.  It acts like a mild chemical exfoliant and thus a bit of drying and I really only noticed the peeling after I had been sitting in the spa for like 2 hours.  Upon getting out while drying off, I noticed a bit of peeling skin on my thighs.  I just dried it off and it was done.  No pain, just a bit of peeling.

I am so impressed with the effectiveness of this product that I made sure I went to amazon and purchased a second bottle to have on hand before my first one ran out.  Yeah, I like it that much!

So there ya go!

Enjoy.

Destroy all ingrowns!

Destroy!

Destroy!