Comfy and Cool Outfit for Summer

Top - Lily White - Similar

Tank - Calvin Klein - Similar

Shorts - ???? (Totally forget!) - Similar

Shoes - Born-O-Concept - Similar

I really like the simplicity of this outfit.  It is super comfy, and super cool.  That is so especially helpful in these wonderful central California heat!  Whoo! It can get hot out here.  And for those of you who say that it is a dry heat, not always.  It can often get quite humid around here.  Okay, not anywhere near what it was like in Pennsylvania this summer, but still, it is not always a dry heat.

So I really like this top as it has my favorite arm length, 3/4 sleeve.  It is also lace on the front, but regular cotton fabric panels on the side.  That makes it super stretchy and comfy.  Often lace is not a stretchy fabric and thus it can be a bit tight to wear.  But not this top.  It is super comfy.

I paired it with a white and blue tye-dyed type of tank.  I like the look as you can clearly see the blue spots showing through the lace.  It gives it a bit of extra punch!

The other thing that I like about this outfit is that I paired it all with my dark pearl necklace.  I totally have a thing for pearls.  I love them!  I really like this dark pearl necklace, but I do not often wear it as it is more a choker style.  Those types of necklaces can make a larger looking neck even larger appearing.  Which is kind of a bummer.  But with the neckline of this top coming up so high, it makes it so that I can wear choker style necklaces and they do not make my neck look huge!  Pretty cool huh?  Yeah I think so.

Okay, love you!

Love yourself!

Travelling While Transgender

When I last wrote about my trip back east, Jules and I had gotten off the plane in Chicago, got our rental car, and were off heading for Kenosha Wisconsin with an ominous warning.  The car rental guy made sure to warn us that the folks in upstate WI were not quite as understanding as they were in Chicago.  It gave me a small pause of doubt, but I reminded myself that I am secure in what I do and who I am.  So I took a deep breath and kept driving.

Besides, Kenosha is not anywhere near upstate WI, it is much more like a beach town, as I found out a few short hours later.  I was a little hesitant as we pulled up to the hotel and was not quite sure what to think about the folks.  Some people's opinions of life have often left me confused and unsure if what I see is accurate or not.  Many folks have told me that I appear to have such an easy time going out in public dressed as a woman because I live in California.  Thus the implication is that if I were to venture outside of California, or at least the west coast of the United States, then for sure I will encounter problems.

What I was wearing when I arrived in Kenosha.

So it was with more than a bit of hesitation that I got out of the car and walked into the hotel to register Jules and I.  She and I walked into the hotel like everything was totally normal.  I let the clerk know that we were checking in and I handed her my male ID and credit card.  She, surprise surprise, acted like everyone else has ever acted.  She looked at my ID and my credit card, thanked me and ran my card through the machine.  Wow!  How crazy and scary!  Holy Crap batman, she treated me like I was a totally normal person!  And where was I, that's right Wisconsin of all places!

Jules and I got checked in, got our items, and loaded everything into our room.  At that point we had been awake for about 36 hours or so at least, but we were starving and needed to get some dinner.  Being as it was super cold outside with the wind whipping in off of Lake Michigan, I decided that I needed to change my clothes to something a bit warmer.  That was when I discovered that I forgot to pack any of my female jeans!  Ahh!!  What ever will I do??

Well I ended up wearing this:

Thus it is that I ended up walking out of my hotel room, in Kenosha WI, with my male jeans on and the rest female attire.  I was super nervous as Jules and I decided that the place that sounded the best to eat at was a bar, and we generally steer clear of bars.  Gender variance and guys with alcohol have been said to not play well together!

But the place that we chose was awesome!  Everyone there treated me quite well.  No one pitchforked me because I was a guy dressing as a woman who was wearing male jeans!  Crazy, I know, right!  By the way, the place we ate, pictured above, is a great bar/restaurant.  They had lots of good things to drink, though Jules and I did enjoy the massive selection of beer as we are tequila drinkers.  But we got a bit of that, and some awesome burgers!  If you ever find yourselves in Kenosha Wisconsin, we can both highly recommend this place.

After we ate our yummy dinner, I had to go visit Target as I was feeling super self conscious in my male jeans and needed a female replacement pair!  Thus off to Target.  We also stopped and got a bit more alcohol, and some sodas.  So out and about in Kenosha Wisconsin and absolutely nothing happened, except for us having a fabulous time!

Up next?  Travelling to central Wisconsin, where apparently the folks can be a bit different.  Though, it would not quite be the same as I would be driving there presenting as a male.  But I would be dressing while we were there, so I had that to look forward to!  Maybe!  Who knows what those Wisconsin folks were going to be like up there in the middle of the state!

Ahhh!!!!!

Love you!

Love yourself!

Love Wisconsin!

Well, at least Kenosha!

Outfit for A Party

Dress - WHBM - Similar

Sweater - 29th & Madison - Similar

Shoes - Taryn - Similar

Necklace - Target - Similar

For the first time ever, I was invited to a party with other transgender women and this is what I chose to wear.  Mostly because it is one of my all time favorite dresses!  I absolutely love how this dress fits me, and the conveniences that I am afforded with it as well.

Firstly, the fit.  This dress has a side zipper to it, so I can actually zip it up myself!  But also, that is what helps it fit so nicely.  The fabric does not stretch at all, but with the side zipper in it, it snugs up nicely to the smallest part of my waist.  Which I love.

The other thing about this dress is that it flares out, with the pleating, so that I am able to wear just regular underwear.  Which means that I do not have to do any special tucking.  And if you have read my blog for any length of time, you will know that I hate to have to do that.  So much so that I rarely if ever will do such a thing to myself!

Anywho... Jules and I went to the party, in the hills of Carmel and had a thrilling time!  We have never been to that area, and it is gorgeous.  The view was spectacular, but the people there were even better.  It was so nice to be able to just hang out with others who share this wondrous gender variance thing that so many of us experience.  For once, while at a gathering of other humans, I did not feel like the alien in the room.  And that was just awesome.

Jules and I had a great time hanging out, drinking wine, eating great food, and chatting with everyone there.  Some were in different places than I am, as some have transitioned, and some were more along the lines of a cross dresser.  It was interesting listening and talking to everyone and each of us trying to assess where the others were at along the gender spectrum.  Fascinating stuff actually!

And oh, btw, I have been SO overloaded lately that I think I am loosing my shit!  Ahhhh!!!  I have SO much to do that evry single day that goes by all that happens is that I get further and further behind!  Ahhhh, the black hole abyss that is my life!!!

Oh well, eventually I will catch up and be on top of everything, right?

Hmmm...

Love you!

Love yourself!

Go to more parties!

My First Flight - Actual

When I last wrote about my trip back east, I had left off with us driving into Vegas, quite unexpectedly at around 3am!  Yikes!  Once we had actually gotten into our hotel room, I had a decision to make, try again for a flight while dressed as a woman, or forget about it for now.  We only had about two or three hours to spend in our room before we had to be packed up and on our way to McCarran airport in Vegas.  Hmm..... decisions, decisions!

Well from the photo above taken a few hours later at the airport, obviously you can tell what my choice was.  Yup!  I showered, shaved, and got dressed back up again.  Nope, being awake for over 24 hours, a cancelled flight, and an overnight 7 hour drive were not going to dissuade me!

So on this day I walked through the airport, all dressed up, though in something fairly simple, shorts, a light blouse, and a bolero sweater.  I checked in my luggage and headed off to TSA screening.  Being as it was only my second time ever, I was still a bit freaked out over the whole experience.  But I just acted like this was totally normal and I had done it hundreds of times.  I simply handed the TSA agent my license and my boarding pass.  They looked at it a few times, signed off on it, and waved me through.  I went through the full body scanner, had the nice lady ask me if she could pat me down a bit.  I of course said yes, and she proceeded to pat down my bra area on my back and on my sides.  She asked, what is that, and then said, oh that is your bra.  Then she was done and I was off to gather my items, with a giant grin on my face.  Which I still obviously had while sitting in the airport and awaiting my flight, as evidenced from the picture above.

This time, it was a short wait in the airport and then we boarded the plane.  I was absolutely giddy with excitement as I took my seat and prepared to fly off to Chicago while dressed as a woman.  I have no idea what was so thrilling about the experience for me.  It wasn't that I felt more real, or more true, or more of myself.  It was more along the lines of it was something that I thought I would never be allowed to do.  In the end, I determined that much as with everything else, the only person telling me that I couldn't do it was myself.  Nobody else even cared.

Fairly shortly after boarding, the plane taxied down the runway and before I knew it, we were off and flying through the air!  At some point in the experience I snapped the photo placed in the middle of this post.  Thus even though I was exhausted, I was obviously exhilarated by the experience.

Jules and I landed in Chicago, got our rental car, and were off headed toward Kenosha, Wisconsin.  But we got an ominous warning from the rental car guy.  He was super nice and polite and didn't flinch at all with the difference between my appearance and my male ID.  But after he found out that we were headed to central Wisconsin, he advised that the folks living in Wisconsin were not as friendly and understanding as there in Chicago.

On the roadside in Illinois

I thanked him for the advise and drove off, heading for the unknown lands of central Wisconsin!  Ooohhh sounds scary and super frightening!  Apparently those folks in central WI are not quite as open minded as those in Chicago.  Yet again, people saying, hey I am open minded, but those people over there, they will persecute you, so watch out!

So, keep that in mind.

Watch out for those 'other' people.

They are scary.

They have been known to bite.

And you certainly don't want rabies do you???

Love you!

Stay away from rabies!

It rots the brain!

Love yourself!

Wine Tasting Outfit

Top - Guess - Similar

Belt - Mossimo - Similar

Skirt - American Apparel - Similar

Shoes - New York Transit - Similar

I wore this outfit while Jules and I were out travelling a bit around California.  We were headed home on this day and chose to stop into a few wineries in Paso Robles for a bit of wine tasting.  In fact if you look closely you might see a bit of an embellishment on my top.  It is a star from Tobin James Winery.  Whenever you go to Tobin's they will give you a little fabric star.  It is customary that you apply the star to something, and thus then walk around and advertise that you have been drinking wine at Tobin James!  Too funny.

With this outfit, I really like the top.  I have had it for quite a bit, but have always been self conscious of the arms.  With the cap sleeves, they don't really do much at all to hide my bulky arms.  But I am slowly, every so slowly, getting over the arm issue.  Other than the arms, I like the top, as it is black and white, and it is also super light and airy.  Thus it is perfect for this wondrous central Cal weather!

Other than that, I also really like this super simple American Apparel skirt,  All it is, is a simple swath of fabric, with a slight slit up the back.  There is no structure to it, to embellishments; super simple and easy.

At Tobin James

Btw, if you have never been wine tasting, I highly recommend it.  It is a large part of why I like wine.  Really before I went wine tasting, I didn't really like wine very much at all.  But now Jules and I quite enjoy it.  Oh and an insider tip, if you do go wine tasting, then bring along a light portable cooler that you can put some salami, cheese, crackers, and napkins into it.  Then when you go in to wine taste, politely ask if they would mind if you bring out your snacks and eat them while tasting the wine.  Pairing wine and food works so much better to help assist with determining if you actually like what you are drinking.

Love you!

Drink wine!

Love yourself!

The Bra Speriment - Results

It has been some time since I published my first post on my bra wearing experiment and the update to that, but I never returned to it to let you know how things panned out with it all.  Being as it has been quite a bit since I wrote those posts, I thought I would give a bit of a recap of what my bra speriment has been all about.

For a year or two, or possibly more, I have been pondering the use of hormones to help settle some of my anxiety.  My wife and I have been considering if using a light dosage of hormones might help with my mental stability, for lack of a better phrase.  As in maybe it might help me to feel a bit better and less out of touch with my own body and possibly feel more satisfied overall.

While I am very open to the potential mental effects of taking some female hormones, I am highly concerned with any potential physical side effects.  Certain ones, like fat redistribution I am more open to; I think I would like a bit more of a booty than my minuscule, barely there tush!  Of course Jules might beg to differ as she thinks I have an extremely cute butt.  Other physical effects, like loss of upper body strength, would really concern me as I am a work-aholic! Especially when it comes to work around the house, like digging trenches and putting in fence posts and splitting large rounds of oak, etc.  But I am sure that I could find easy workarounds to those issues.

One concern that I just don't really know if I could deal with, is the potential for breast development.  Yeah, okay, sure, some part of me would really enjoy having my own, actual, natural breasts, but the biggest problem with that is that I am not interested in transitioning.

Thus the bra speriment was begun.  Which was, instead of taking hormones and potentially developing breasts and then figuring out if I could live my regular, everyday, male, life, why not try and wear a bra, in my everyday regular male life and see if I could live with that.  That way, if that is not something that I want to continue to do, then I could just take the bra off, instead of needing a mastectomy

That was the plan and thus I began wearing bras throughout my daily life, with one caveat, I happened to also be on vacation so I wouldn't have to wear them to work.  But I wore them pretty much everywhere else: my morning walk around my neighborhood with my dog, while talking with the neighbors in a tank top, to the grocery store, the hardware store, etc.

There were easy times and hard times.  Times I felt fantastic, and times I felt embarrassed.  Plenty of times, I saw my reflection in a window, or a mirror and I was thrilled at my shape.  But many morning, I wanted nothing more than to not have to have the appearance of breasts that day.  I pushed myself to do it, all day every day, but there were times when I chose to take it off.

That was a huge tell to me, proving the importance of performing the experiment.  And really, showing me the true results of the experiment, I don't want boobs that I can't take off.

Which feels a bit sad to me.

Sometimes it is a bit of a weird feeling being in the middle.  Part of me is sad that I really don't want actual boobs, but part of me is really happy about it!  Part of me wants boobs and part of me really does NOT want boobs.  So weird.  So weird that it doesn't really seem to change.  Maybe I might have an easier time if the feeling came one day, and just grew and grew and grew until eventually I decide to transition.  But that is not me.  I am in the middle.  Sometimes it ebbs and flows. But mostly it hovers around the middle.

Hmm.....

I like bras.

Love you!


Photo credits:
https://pixabay.com/en/photos/bra/

Blocky Dress But Great Cleavage

Dress - Guess - Similar

Shoes - ??? (Sorry I forgot!) - Similar

I have had this dress for quite some time and I enjoy wearing it, but I am not so sure that it does much for me.  It is quite a bit of contradictions for me actually.  I really like that it is short.  I like that it has a deep V-neck.  I also like that it has stretchy fabric right at the skinniest point of my waist.  And on hot days, like this day was, I really like how light and flowy it is.

So then... what is it that I don't like about it?  Well it is kind of what I personally call a sack dress.  Now, I know that there are officially items that are truly sack dresses, and I don't know if this dress officially fits into that category, but it is what I personally reference this dress as.  Why?  Well it is sort of a large rectangle of fabric, and that is about it.

Okay, so it is pretty cool that a simple, no structure, rectangle of a dress can help give me the illusion of some curves.  I do like that aspect, but from certain angles, it looks super blocky!

Oh and another thing that I do not think works very well for me is the size of the fabric that goes over my shoulders.  At first I thought that with it being a wider piece of fabric that it would help hide the size of my arms, but I think that with the larger size of fabric that it actually makes my arms look bigger than other items I wear.

Hmm..... yet again, with another piece of clothing, do I actually like it or not?  Life's ponderables.  Interesting.

What about you?  What do you think?  Am I just over thinking things like I often do?  I mean, come on, that is some impressive cleavage that this dress allows me to show off a bit.  Maybe I should just focus on that.  It shows some boobage, and a bit of tasteful boobage is never a bad thing, huh?

Ha!

Love you!

Enjoy boobs.

Cause they are fun!

Well, maybe just to me,

Seriously, I still can't believe that I can create this look with no actual boobs.

Okay, enough!

Loves!

(One more thing - I just googled sack dresses, and this dress is clearly not that, so I need to rethink how I reference this dress!)