Outfit for 12/24/13 - Wine Tasting Again!

Coat - Guess

Blouse - Wrapper

Skirt - Guess

Shoes - Nine West

With this outfit I am wearing several of my favorite items.  Of course there is my new red coat, which I just adore.  The pictures really do not do it justice.  It is just so super cute!  There is also my trusty Guess jean skirt, my asymmetrical Wrapper blouse, and lastly my awesome blue pumps!

I think some part of me chose this outfit to be comfy, and relaxed because on this day Jules and I were going wine tasting.  In the past I have been concerned about me being out dressed as a girl, but on this day I was really just concerned with Jules and her well being.  As most of you know she broke her leg, rather severely on Sept 1st.  A couple of weeks ago I asked her if she was up for a shopping trip and she said yes.  I was super excited and we booked a couple of nights out near one of our favorite malls.

I was so impressed with her and her ability to get around (she is still on crutches.)  But while we were out in public, I was so stressed about her safety.  She handled herself just fine and was totally capable but I was still very worried if everything would be okay.  We shopped for a couple of days and everything went fine.  Jules was quite tired, but good.

On our day home, we decided to visit a couple of our favorite wineries.  Now that I look at my outfit and see what I chose to wear and I realize, I was a little stressed.  The two of us had a great day and again everything went fine.

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday.

Love you!

Cross Dressers as Liars

What is it about cross dressing that makes so many of us complacent with deceiving others?  I thought about this, and about writing this post, and just bashing those that deceive but then I thought about myself.  And I am pondering if just by being me, am I actively trying to deceive those around me?  Am I girl, nope, but occasionally I dress as one, and pass myself off as one.  Isn't that deceit?  Yes it is.  I will grant you that.

But I suppose it is a deceit of omission.  I don't tell people that I am a girl.  If anyone were to ask, which has never been done, I would certainly tell anyone that I am a man dressed as a girl.  The way I look at it is, the people that I deceive are the general public, and the general public does not have a need to know about my personal life.

Who does?  My wife.  And my wife has always been privy to my personal private thoughts.  I made a commitment to her when we got married, and part of that is being honest with her, with trusting her, with having her be a part of my life.  And I feel very strongly about this.  I have a very difficult time reading about how so many of you have been CDing for years and have never told your SO.  Honestly it is quite shocking to me.  But even more so than that, is the large numbers of you that not only accept their deceit, you actively encourage it.  I have read more than one post that says "if you want to keep your wife, don't tell her."  Shocking!  How significant is your other if you are unwilling to be honest with them?

Along the same lines are those of you who "borrow" your wife's clothes or your sister's clothes, or your mom's clothes.  These things are just wrong.  Wrong, wrong, wrong.

I think this all stems from fear of rejection.  We are afraid that others will not understand us and thus we hide who we are and then we justify it by saying, well it is for their own good.  Or it is for the good of the family.  Or some other such nonsense.  Listen, it is not important that you out yourself to the entire world.  The entire world does not need to know your private personal business.  But when you are married, or are planning on getting married, your private personal business becomes you and spouses private personal business.  There is no more me and them, it is you two together.  And together means more than just simply sharing the same space.

If you choose to exclude your spouse you are making a grave mistake.  You think that they will not accept you because of your aberrant behavior, so you allow yourself to do something that no one should accept in a spouse.  You deceive them.  If someone were to tell me that they are leaving their spouse because they can not trust them, I would support that decision fully.

Don't do something that is morally reprehensible because you can't just stand up to your own fears and find out if you spouse has concerns about cross dressing.

Okay, I know, a bit of a rant, but dammit, I feel very strongly about truth and honesty and openness within relationships and about facing your own fears.  By not facing your fear, you are honestly dooming your relationship with deceit.

Okay, rant over.

Love Ya.

Be honest!

Photo credit - http://www.flickr.com/photos/ev0luti0nary/5222712198/

A Day In The Life of a Cross Dresser

Can you see my dog & my hunting makeup?

This past Saturday my day began at 1:30am.  I woke, dressed, and drove to the duck field.  My morning, from about 5:00 to 9:00 was spent hunting ducks.  I got 1, a canvasback, kind of a rare duck for where I go.  I decided to get it stuffed and put it up on my wall.  It is a really cool looking duck.

On the way home I heard someone advertise some firewood for sale.  It sounded like a good deal on some good walnut wood so upon arriving home and unpacking, I called.  A few hours later I was returning back home with a pickup load of wood.  A bunch of it needed cutting down to size and the chainsaw did a short job of it; though my blade was smoking a bit from having it too tight.

Top - Chaus New York

Sweater - 89th & Madison

Jeans - Mossimo

Boots - Nine West

Around 4:00pm I finally got in the shower, had a quick shave, and changed into something cute.  Jules and I got dinner, and then I tried to quickly get finished dressing before our friends, Edward and Vivian came over for game night.  Unfortunately for me, they were on time! and I wasn't!  Oops, sorry guys :(  My tardiness was very minimal, and really only bothersome to myself.

It was during this day that I thought quite a bit about the idea of being a cross dresser.  As I frequently state, I feel that I am truly a cross dresser.  Meaning, I enjoy dressing up in a variety of outfits.  Some of them are more conducive to dressing male, like duck hunting, and some of them I enjoy more dressed as a girl, hanging out with good friends for a fun night.  I do like all of my feminine attire, but I also do really like all of my male attire.  I really like both.

I think this post helps to exemplify the duality that is my life.  With much research I have discovered there is a wide range of folks that call themselves cross dressers, some of us lean more towards one end of the gender spectrum.  I find myself sitting just about in the middle.

And the more I understand this, and accept this, the happier I am.

I hope you are happy.

Love Ya! :)

Outfit for 11/25/13 & My New Coat!

Coat - Guess

Top - Lily White

Tank - Guess

Jeans - Guess

Boots - Nine West

I walked into a Wilson's Suede and Leather and searched the racks.  I wasn't looking for anything in particular, I was more interested in wasting time.  After trying on a large variety of coats by a variety of manufacturers I didn't find anything interesting.  While I was on my way out of the store I spotted this great looking red coat.  I walked up to it and looked for my size.  I had to laugh though when I saw who made it, Guess.

It was amusing to me as I had told myself expressly to not go to the Guess store, as I have been really wanting to branch out into different brands.  I must have looked at a hundred different coats that day.  None of them caught my attention.  Not one.  But this red coat, this red Guess coat, I swear it just called out to me.  "Buy me! Buy me! Buy me!"

I found my size, tried it on, saw my reflection, and I knew I would be walking out of the store with it.  Lucky for me, it was marked down to some ridiculously low price from some ridiculously high price.

That took place back in July.  I bought it when it was about 100 degrees outside, the perfect time to buy a wool coat; if you're looking for a sale that is.  I have been waiting since then for a time cool enough to need to wear it.  I thought it ended up being a perfect match to pair up with the black top.  It worked very well for me.

Hope you are well.

Love ya!

Outfit for 11/20/13 - More Black & White

Top - Chaus New York

Sweater - 89th & Madison

Jeans - Guess

Shoes - Saucony

This is another one of the black and white tops that I purchase from TJMaxx the other day.  I really like this top as it is a cowl neck and they normally do not look good on me at all.  This one though, the neck hangs extra low and thus helps to produce the V neck look that I think helps to make my neck and shoulder look slimmer.  I also like this top in that it is sort of a wrap top, which helps me look extra busty!  Here is a close up of the top, maybe you can better tell what I am talking about.

Today my destination was shopping in a nearby town.  Yet again I needed to go to Costco, but I also needed to run around and go to a few other places.  I so wanted to be just comfy and thus decided on the tennis shoes.  I had a good day, with nothing eventful, just enjoying myself being me. :)

Updates:
- Jules' therapy is progressing. Did I tell you she started physical therapy?  Well she has and it is coming along.  She can now use the crutches to help her to begin to walk again!  Yay wifey!
- I decided to delete a page from this blog.  It was from a couple of years ago titled Reaching Out.  I deleted it because for some odd reason a whole bunch of sites in Russian were linking to it.  Some of the sites were porn sites!  Ugh! The nerve!  I could never actually figure out how or why they were linking to my site, but with deleting the page, stopped the click-through's.  So yeah, whatever was up with that.  Random.
- I recently joined a forum, Crossdressers.com, I am surprised at myself that I have not joined it earlier.  I was never a lurker and just recently found it and thought, hmm... this seems intriguing.  Thus I joined and have been enjoying it so far.  Seems like a good group of people.  So if you have not checked it out, I would recommend it.

Hope you are well and enjoying life and yourself!

Love Ya!

Outfit for 11/13/13

 

Top - Cable & Gauge

Skirt - The Limited

Shoes - New York Transit

Closeup of the embroidery

A little bit ago I posted a potential outfit that I attempted to wear this skirt, but I did not think that it looked very good, so I changed out the skirt.  Here is the picture of the other outfit:

I really like the skirt, but I don't like it in the above outfit.  I do however really like it in the main photo for this post.  I think the difference is that with the pink sweater, I am wearing a black tank top and the black of the tank with the black of the skirt sort of blend together whereas the top from Cable & Gauge provides for a clear break between the two.  The Cable & Gauge top also has a slight flair to the bottom of it that helps to add a bit of a curve to the hips.

I recently purchased the Cable & Gauge top along with two other tops at TJMaxx.  I brought them home and showed Jules my treasures.  I relayed the story of the guy at the checkout counter.  I set down my three items and he said, "Oh, just the one dress today?"  He then picked up, what he thought was just one dress, and discovered that it was actually three different tops.  He then said "Oh, no, I see, all the tops are just black and white."  It was then that it occurred to me that everything I bought was black and white.  And in fact, often many of the main items in my outfits are either black or white.

I began to consider if this was a problem for me or not.  Maybe I am limiting myself.  Maybe I need to branch out more and push myself to embrace the vast array of the color spectrum.  But then again, while writing this and pondering this color conundrum, I've had a realization.  The longer I have been dressing as both genders, the more my female outfits often resemble my male outfits.  I mean my female clothes are clearly female and my male ones are clearly male, but the colors are almost the same.  I tend to wear mainly black or white and use a deep rich single color.

And ya know, I think this works for me.  I like my male outfits, and I like the fact that my female outfits are finally becoming an accurate reflection of who I am and not just simply what I think female me should wear.  It's sort of becoming like my clothes are simply my clothes and not what I think I should wear.  Hmm... Am I even making any sense anymore?  How about this, I like my style!

How about you?  Do you tend to have a distinct style?  Do your female clothes look anything like your male clothes, or are they on completely different ends of the spectrum?

Love Ya!

Outfit for 11/8/13 & Costco Rocks!

 

Top - Converse All-Stars

Tank - Mossimo

Jeans - Guess

Belt - I forget

Shoes - Nine West

Ahh... cooler weather.  The last time I wore these jeans, I was in San Francisco for the day.  I purchased these jeans specifically to be able to wear with flat shoes.  I really like the fit of Guess jeans and I only have one pair, which are super long.  So long that I need to wear a minimum of two inch heels so that they do not drag on the ground.  But these jeans fall just about perfectly for wearing shorter heels or entirely flat shoes.

I wanted to wear something comfortable for my day out as I had a goal for the day - go to Costco and get a picture taken for a new ID card.  I frequently find myself shopping at Costco while dressed as a girl and occasionally I have had a cashier question whether or not I am the person in the picture.  I have never been refused service, but I thought that maybe if I had an ID with a female picture on it that might go over better.

With much trepidation I chose a comfy outfit that I felt confident in and drove myself to Costco.  The entire time the negative nay-saying portion of my mind kept trying to convince me that it was not a good idea.  It knew that something was going to go wrong.  Somehow I would be embarrassed or something would go wrong.  The other half of my brain, the confident, go for it side, kept answering back and saying, nope, I am pretty sure that this will be no big deal.

I got to Costco and went in and walked up to the Member Services counter.  I waited in a small line and when it was my turn I stepped up to the counter and asked the lady if I could have an ID with a different picture and if I could keep my original card as well.  She said "sure," as if I had asked her a for a completely normal request.  She started typing into the computer and I felt she deserved some sort of explanation, even though she did not ask for one in anyway.  I told her "I would like an ID both ID's as sometimes it is confusing for some of your cashiers, depending on which gender I choose to dress as."  She said "Well that is understandable, let's get your picture taken."  I stepped to the appropriate place and she snapped my picture and printed my new card.

Maybe not the best picture, but it is thrilling to me.  That day I shopped at Costco and used my new card when checking out and did not receive a single question.  It was great!  I was so happy that my confident side won out and I asked for what I wanted, because I got it and it was so super easy!

Some updates:
- Jules has started PT and things are going quite well.  She is exercising and slowly but surely gaining back her strength.
- Duck season has started again, so that is something else absorbing my time.  Is there any way we can make it so there is more time somewhere?  I few extra hours in the day, maybe another day added inbetween  Sat and Sun?  Yeah I didn't think so.

Hope you all are well.

Love Ya!