Outfit for 3/31/14 & My New Purse!!!

       Top - Vince Camuto

Pants - Mossimo

Boots - Nine West

Coat - Guess

Purse - Coach

OMG, here is my new purse!!  Can you tell I am a bit excited by my new purse?

I really didn't think that I cared all that much about nice/designer purses.  I would always just get a purse that functioned and was reasonable in cost.  Then my good friend, Vivian, gave me a couple of coach purses.  They are super small, cutie purses, but not very functional for any everyday purse.  But I noticed that I really liked using them.

This inspired me to stop into the Coach store the last time I visited an outlet mall.  I walked right in and was handed a coupon for 50% off for that day only.  I walked the store, checked out the various bags and spotted a couple that I liked, but I did not commit to any.  Instead, I left the store with nothing.  I walked and shopped, and checked out other purses, but saw nothing else interesting.

On my way back to the car, I decided to go back to the Coach store.  But this time I was faced with a line to even get into the store.

I got into line and was still not sure if I was going to commit to a purse or not.  I waited for about 15 to 20 minutes and texted my wife and Vivian about the purse.  Eventually I got into the store and found the purse I spotted earlier.  I asked the sales lady how much it would cost.  She told me about $200.  Wow, could I really commit to such an expensive purse?  Gosh, I didn't know.

I walked the store a bit while holding onto the purse.  Eventually I decided and went to the counter.  The sales associate rung up my purchase as we chatted.  Imagine my surprise when the total was only $150.  Wow!  How cool!  I left the store pretty happy with my new purse.

But it was not until I went back to my hotel that evening and switched out from my old purse that I realized the super high quality of my new purse.  Wow, it is super nice!  It was about then I realized the difference between an ordinary purse and a quality purse.  There is a BIG difference people.

And the next day while I continued on my shopping trip, carrying around my new purse, I felt like a million bucks.  I even got a few complements on my new purse, which was super cool.  But the thing that kept amazing me was how awesome I felt.  It made me feel like I was a super star.  Weird how such a simple item can make you feel so great.

So yeah, I felt great, but it is a also a great functioning purse.  I super , super, super love it!!!

My First Meeting With Another CD

Dress - Black House White Market

Shoes - Nickles

I finally met another cross dresser and you know what?  It was totally, completely, and entirely, normal!

Fairly recently I joined crossdressers.com and decided to continue reaching out.  If you are familiar with the site I am sure you know of Jennifer, from Jenniferathome.  She gives great opinions and advice and I have enjoyed reading her posts.  Anywho, one day she emails and asks if I would like to meet up on an upcoming trip when she would be in Santa Monica.  I mailed back and said “yes!”

I live about 3 hours from Santa Monica, but being as I had a week off from work, I figured I would figure it out.  I mentioned the idea to Jules and she said she would love to come along as well.  So we set it all up and with anticipation I waited the week or so until the day arrived.

Jules and I left our place and headed to a town partway to LA and got pedicures.  We both chose something springtime and sparkly.  We then continued driving until I stopped and changed my clothes.  Neither of us wanted to wear our nice dresses to get our nails done and since I was driving, I needed to stop to change.    

I went from this:

Sweater - Jones of NY

Tank - Calvin Klein

Skirt - American Apparel

Shoes - Born O Concept

to the dress pictured up top.

We arrived way too early into Santa Monica.  Which was good as it helped my paranoia about being on time and dealing with LA traffic.  We ended up shopping a bit; where we both bought some cool silver bracelets. 

Eventually the time arrived for dinner and we headed to the restaurant.  Around reservation time Jennifer found us waiting outside the restaurant.  We all introduced ourselves and went inside.  We sat in a booth and ordered dinner.  The food was entirely just okay, but the conversation was great.  With very few people has time passed as quickly as it did that evening.  We must have talked for about 2-3 hours or so.   It was great.  The place was not busy at all so we got to just sit and talk and pick at our food.  I really enjoyed myself.

I didn't really want the evening to end, so I suggested a bit of shopping.  Being in Nordstroms, we headed downstairs to the shoes.  Jules and I tried on some shoes and while Jennifer looked around.  I found a few pairs of Manolo Blahnik.  I gingerly examined them, saw the prices and set the down very carefully!  It was really funny.  I was totally joking with the super nice sales associate about it.

We stepped out of Nordstroms and both Jennifer and I could tell that Jules’ leg was really bothering her.  So we said our farewells and parted company.  Honestly I was enjoying my time so much that I could have hung out for the better part of the evening.  But it just leaves more for next time.

For me the lasting impression of the evening was just how normal it all was.  Not a couple of weirdo’s hanging out with a woman, but just three normal folks having a very nice, normal dinner.

Thank you very much for the invite Jennifer and for a very lovely evening. 

Outfit for 3/13/14 - Red Skirt

Skirt - Charlotte Russe

Top - Wrapper

Shoes - Fitz Well

Purse - Coach

Unseen - Rago girdle

I absolutely love this skirt, but at the same time it really bugs me quite a bit.  I love it, because I think it is super cute.  It is nice and tight and stretchy, so it helps me look more curvy.  I also really like the color.  Yes, obviously I like red, but I really like this red.  It is super red.  Just straight up red.  No dark red, deep red, pink red, nope, just regular ol red.  Love it!

But then why does it bug?  It bugs because you can see just about every single thing underneath it.  It is the sort of skirt that almost demands you go commando!  Oh my!  Not something that a cross dresser has the option of doing.  Well unless your going for an entirely different sort of look than I am.  But I digress.  So anywho, I need to be careful of what I wear underneath this skirt.  And even then, you can still see any sort of pantylines underneath it.  I have a Rago girdle underneath that helps to smooth things out a bit, but you can still see the pattern of the lace on the girdle through the skirt.  What I need too find is a super tight, but super smooth girdle.

Hmm.... looks like I am in a position to do some shopping!  Woo-Hoo! Shopping!

Ok, gotta run.  Gotta go earn a living, cause I haven't won the lottery yet.  Wait a minute, to win, I suppose I need to play.  Hmm.... some of my thinking appears to be a bit problematic.

Love ya!  :)

Do you love you?

I am trying hard to love myself, but it is a minute by minute battle most days.

Clothes Storage - Revisiting my Dresser

You may or may not remember my original post on my dressers, but recently I made some changes that I thought I would share.

Not much has changed in this area.  This is my hidden jewelry box that is in the top of the dresser.  Notice in the other pictures you can't tell that the top lifts up?  Yeah, that is my invention.  Cool, huh?

Oh yeah, if you don't know, I built these dressers.  It is part of a cherry wood bedroom furniture set that I am constructing over time.  I have 3 dressers done and two nightstands.  I need to do the bed and a blanket chest still.

First change.  No more segregating my clothes.  It used to be that my female clothes were in one location and my male clothes were in another.  Now I have put all my clothes together.  If they are sweaters, they are all in the same drawer.  Same thing with shorts, shirts, etc.

  

Maybe in the picture above, as opposed to the one on the right, you can better see my inspiration Barbie.  She sits on top of a hat box on my little dresser and watches over me.  I suppose she is my fairy Barbie mother.

Okay in this picture you can see the other big change from the last time I showed you my dresser.  I saw a pin about rolling your clothes, so I tried it.  Wow, it works great!  There is so much more room in my drawers than before.  I was actually able to remove a bunch of stuff from my very cramped closet and get it to all fit in this drawer.

This is my sweater drawer.  Can you tell which ones are my male sweaters?  They tend to be the darker colored ones.  The sweaters I did not roll up, they are set on their sides.  Again, this was a huge space saver as well as allowing me to see all of my sweaters upon opening the drawer.

                                                                                                                                                          This drawer used to be impossible to deal with.  It contains all of my shorts and sweat pants.  The shorts did not get rolled, they are just placed on their sides.  The larger items, like sweats and such did get rolled and then placed on their sides.  I saved so much room in this drawer, and again I can actually see everything in it.  I love this drawer especially.

The bottom drawer.  This drawer contains all of my fancy work pants and all of my yard work pants.  Two things about this that I think are funny.  One - my work pants are now rolled and stuffed into a drawer, being as I rarely if ever wear them anymore.  yeah I kind of gave up on the fancy pants for work.  The second thing I find funny about this drawer is that in my yard work jeans section there are female jeans in there now.  I have finally owned some girl jeans long enough that they have made their way in my yard work jean section.  How funny.

 

Just a little quotey-poo for your Monday.

Learn to love yourself, because you live a life that deserves it.

Love life, because you live a life that deserves it.

Outfit for Thursday 2/27/14 - Texture

Coat - Guess

Black Top - Lily White

White Top - Guess

Jeans - Guess

Shoes - Madden Girl

I really like this outfit, mostly because of the black top by Lily White.  It has such an interesting pattern and textured look.  A neat thing about the shirt is that it has the lace portion in the front in the back but on the sides it is just t-shirt like fabric.  This allows for the shirt to be rather form fitting.  The lace does not stretch much, but the sides really do.  The other thing I like about the lace top is that whatever you wear underneath it obviously shows through.

I tried the black shirt a while back with a red tank underneath it, but I really like the white underneath it much more.  I am not sure why I think this, but I feel as though the black top adds texture.  Maybe it is just patterning, but I want to call it texturing.  Why?  Because of how it feels, no, because of how it looks.  Thus I do not make sense to my own self.  Ridiculous!  Texture should be what I feel and patterns should be what I see.  Okay, irrelevant conversation with myself.  Suffice to say, I like the black top! :)

Oh and I also love that Jules and I are just about the same size, thus I can borrow things from her, like white coat.  Yay!

In the last outfit post I showed how much my doggie liked my outfit; this time I am showing my giant kitty.  This particular cat weighs about 20lbs.  And no, it is not fat, it is all muscle.  He is the brute of our neighborhood.  When I picked him out of the litter I was warned that he was the runt.  Ha! Some runt!

Alrighty then, love ya!

Oh BTW-
- Jules is improving.  She can actually walk a bit unassisted.  But wow, this healing process is loooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggg!!!!!
- A couple posts ago I stated it was my 200th.  Well I made an error.  The stats I look at via blogger showed 200 posts, but not all of them have been published, some of them are drafts, but at the same time there have been some posts I have deleted, so whatevs!  I'm sticking with what I posted.
- I love Urban Decay, but I hate that their HQ is in S. Cal, but they ship from Florida!  Ahhh the waiting is torture!

Love you!

Outfit for 2-18-14 - Red & Black Overload

Sweater- DKNY cozy

Tank- Target

Skirt - American Apparel

Leggings- American Apparel

Shoes- Madden Girl

Jacket- Guess

I really thought this would be a super cute outfit when I planned it all out, but alas upon reflecting on the pictures, I am not so sure.  Yeah, I like all of the elements separately, but altogether I think it might be a bit too much.  Though my doggie sure does not seem to mind:

Though admittedly he is always just excited to see me and even more so when I pet him.  So in the picture he is super thrilled.  I actually think that is the cutest picture of me in this outfit.  But probably due to him more than me, obviously! :)

I think one of the things about this outfit that concerns me is the DKNY cozy.  I love this garment, as it is so versatile.  But the look of leggings with a sweater I think are kind of tough for me to pull off.  I have rather largish shoulders and thus would like to deemphasize that area of my body but that sweater, being so bunched up around my torso makes that are of my body look bigger.  Which is not such a great thing.

I also think that different leggings would work better in this situation.  I have the same pair in black and white and I think that might have made things look much better.  Because maybe it is just too much black and red to look good.

Hmm???????  As you can tell I am not 100% sure as to this outfit.  What are your thoughts?  Anyone one way or the other with this look?

BTW - I think it is worth mentioning again how crazy I am.  Once upon a time I was afraid that my dog would treat me differently while I am dressed as a girl.  What a goof I am.  Though I have read recently of some CDs that are thrilled when their dog does treat them differently while dressed.  Hmm.... well to each their own huh?

Love ya & hope you are all loving yourselves!

;)

Smooooooch!

Self Acceptance - 200th Post

About eight years ago I unknowingly decided to begin forcing myself upon myself; that was about the time that I began to fully dress as a girl.  At the time, it just seemed like the thing I should do.  Before then I had dressed in various articles of women’s clothing and had done a variety of other things, like paint my fingernails, but I had never tried to emulate a woman.  I began doing it because I wanted to, but underneath it all, I was hiding.

This started to become apparent to me when I had the desire to get out of the house, while fully dressed.   Before this point, my wife had been nothing but supportive of me.  But this brought up unexpected concerns, for the both of us.  Jules expressed some concerns about what I was doing, nothing unwarranted, but with each bit of doubt she expressed the more I sought out her acceptance.  I needed for her to accept me, all of me, and for this I was willing to push myself onto her.  It is unfortunate that this occurred as it really never had anything to do with her, it was really just me.  I needed for her to accept me just so that someone would. 

I didn't really understand where I was at until one day, a few years into fully dressing and going out in public, I saw my reflection in the mirror while I was fully dressed.  I saw myself and in my head I heard myself say the word “freak.”  I heard it as clearly as if someone said it to me.  And it made me stop and stare deeply at myself in that mirror and I almost started to cry.  It was right then that I realized that it was I who did not accept myself.

Since that day, I have talked with Jules about it often, I have read about gender variances, and I have dabbled in writing about it.  And inside of me, I struggle with it almost every single day.  This is a good thing though, because now I am the one who struggles with it.  Now, I focus on accepting myself and I am no longer concerned with whether or not others accept me.  And the most amazing thing has begun to happen, the more I accept myself, the more I find others to be accepting of me. 

Now that I know who I am my wife is more accepting than she has ever been.  Every person I have decided to share my gender variability with has been totally accepting of me.  And in fact even the general public seems far more at ease with me and the more time goes on, the more people just accept me to be whatever gender, or mix of genders, that I choose to present as.

I encourage you all, as human beings, accept who you are.

I will caution you though.  Throughout my personal journey, I have not always enjoyed everything that I have had to accept about myself.  But I have seen that only once I accept who I am can I do anything about it.  For me, exploring my gender variance has brought me great personal growth, and harmed no one, so I have run with it.  Other things like having a massive sugar tooth that can cause me to binge eat on desserts has been harmful, but once I accepted that this is what I will most likely do, I have been able to avoid it.

So, have fun, accept yourself, and be someone that when you see your reflection in a mirror, tell yourself that you love who you are.  It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

Love you!  And love yourself!