What Do You Bring Into Your Life?

Growing up, I learned that people can hurt me and I was hurt often.  So it is no wonder that as a younger adult I looked at most of humanity with quite a bit of suspicion.  I never felt as though other humans could be trusted to do the "right" thing and certainly I could not trust other humans to actually go out of their way to be nice to meaningless strangers.

And thus I find it quite odd that one day, after finally getting dressed from head to toe as a girl that the idea popped into my to get out of the house. It was really strange.  The idea of going out in public had never occurred to me and it is not as though I had some secret love for most of humanity.  As I stated in fact I really did not like others very much.

But for some reason, once I got fully assembled in all of my feminine gear I felt that I had to get into the world as so I shoved myself out of the privacy of my safe house and out into the harsh cold world.  It took quite a bit of time for me to relax and begin to enjoy myself but eventually I did.  Apparently I was quite the odd one as in going out of the house, I did seek the security of a "safe" place.  I have never been to a LGBTQ friendly location.  I have always just gone to wherever I wanted to go.  At first it was mostly museums, and restaurants, and shopping, but now it is anywhere and everywhere.

And the absolutely weirdest thing has happened along the way... I have had my eyes open to the beauty that is humanity.  I no longer see humanity as this mass of faceless, hurtful, uncaring, meanies!  Why?

I see the little things that people do, that they don't need to, but that so many of them choose to.  On some of my recent travels around California (from southern to northern from the coast to the valley) here are some of my experiences:

- the lady at the sock store who complemented my cute new Coach purse and began a conversation about how she can't ever seem to make into that store
- the guy at the hamburger restaurant who learned over my shoulder and complemented me on my cute pink sneakers
- the lady at the gas station who complemented my earrings
- the conversation with the guy at McDonalds about the lid he was offering me for my cup
- the McDonalds cashier who complemented the color of my nail polish
- the lady at Black House - White Market who when she saw my driver's license said "Wow, you do a great job at this!"
- the lady who let go of the door without holding it opened for me and stopped and apologized when I came out of the door
- the Clinique sales ladies who almost always offer me some free items

These are just a few of the examples from my various travels.  Along the way as well, I have never been harassed, pestered, annoyed, plagued, etc.

My point is that while I thought I would experience the worst in humanity, I have actually seen the best in humanity.  So much so, that I have realized I have always misjudged humanity.  I always thought that people were basically evil, or at least bad, but really people are basically good.

But I would have never seen that people are good, if I waited for them to show me.  By not trusting people, that is what I was putting out there, and that is what people proved to me.  But by putting myself out there and being true to myself, humanity has stepped up and proved to me that people are good, kind, and nice, and will often go out of their way to be a good person.

Okay, I am certainly not an idiot and I don't think that there are no bad people out there, but enough people have shown me that people are good, that I am willing to generalize that people are actually good.  Some people aren't but as a whole, humanity is a great bunch of people.

Get out there folks.

Love yourself.

Trust yourself.

Have hope in humanity, they may just surprise you.

Outfit for Friday 4-11-14 & A New Camera

Top - Max Studio

Tank - Mossimo

Belt - Target

Skirt - 36 point 5

Shoes - Born O Concept

I so struggled putting this outfit together.  I like the end result but it took me several iterations to get it to this point.  I began with the skirt and tried about 5 or 6 different tops until I got something that I thought looked fairly good.  The skirt is a new acquisition.  I got it on my last shopping trip and I think it is super cute.  I went looking for another jean skirt being as I so enjoy wearing the other one I have.  I picked this one up for about $15!  What a steal.  I will have to see if it holds up for the long term.

Did I mention that I think I am having a bad hair day in the photo above?  Yeah well, I am kind of thinking that a wig upgrade is in my not too distant future.  I am beginning to think that wigs have about a years use while in my possession.

With the photo above, it is one of the new ones taken with my new camera!  I am so excited about it, I can't stand it.  I have been bummed with the quality of my previous one and have been looking for a nice upgrade.  I decided on a Canon EOS Rebel T3i.  Again, I got a heck of a deal on it by buying it from Canon as a refurbished device.  I saved quite a bit on it and it works wonderfully!  So you might have to bear with me while I share more than a few photos.

Here is a close up of the top portion of my outfit.  I like the details of the lace tank along with the woven belt.

This photo shows one of the small little things that bugged the heck out of me with my other camera.  My point and shoot lacked any ability to focus on what I wanted to focus it on.  It just sort of did it's own thing and you would cross your fingers and hope.



Part of the reason I had such a hard time choosing a good top to wear with this skirt is because on this day Jules and I were getting our nails done again.  I had several cute tops picked out, but the arms were too long.  I needed to wear something with shorter arms, to be able to have them not get in the way during my manicure.  I know, big issue, huh?  Well I hate having to shove my sleeves up my arms and totally stretch them out.  I have rather big forearms.  Ah, life's little struggles huh?

What else??????  Not much really.  But how about, I find it surprising how many people still seem surprised that I wear my nails painted 24/7.  Yup people, I wear them to work this way.  And yes I dress as a male at work.  Oh and yes, they are purple, with sparkles too!

How about a gratuitous iris picture?  Have I told you Jules and I grow iris'?  Yup, a whole bunch of them.

Gosh that one is super pretty.  Oh how I love my new camera!

Love you!

Work hard to be proud of you!

Outfit for ModCloth Uniquely You Campaign

In my outfit collage I have chosen several items that would go well with the main piece, the two piece swim suit.  I love the big floppy hat.  I so have to have a hat if I am out in the sun.  Have I ever told you I had skin cancer??  Yeah, so cover yourself out there people!  I also really like the red polka dot sticker nails, that kind of match with the suit and shoes.  I love the octopus bracelet.  I think it looks really cute with the swim suit theme outfit.  The white glasses look fresh and fun for summer.  I also chose the purse as it was semi-relaxed for the pool or beach.  And lastly, I really like the pull over for using as you are walking the boardwalk as a bit more cover.

I know this is something completely different for my blog.  This is an outfit collage that I did for ModCloth.  They contacted me via email and asked if I would like to be part of the ModCloth Uniquely You campaign.  I was quite thrilled that they contacted me and asked for me to participate.  First and foremost I like to consider myself a style blogger.  I do write quite a bit about trans issues, but really my heart is into style.  So, I wrote back and said, YES, I would love to be part of their campaign.

So the deal was that I was to use Wanelo, and search through the ModCloth pages for ways to style a garment that they sent to me.  I was instructed to pick up to seven items from ModCloth's pages to complement the garment.  I was totally expecting some cute retro dress, but what I got into my inbox surprised the heck out of me.  They sent me the totally cute polka dot two piece swimsuit.  Wow, a swimsuit, talk about being out of my comfort zone!  Whew!

I knew that I had a challenge ahead of me.  Styling a swimsuit is something I had not considered before, besides I had no experience with Wanelo, or creating an outfit collage.  As with most challenges, I dove in and started to figure it all out.  First was Wanelo.  If you have no experience with it, it is a Pinterest type of board, but it is kind of cooler in that when you click on the item it actually takes you to a place that you can actually buy the item from.  That was cool.

Then I had to find the ModCloth page and begin my search for what could work with the cute swimsuit they sent me.  It took some time, but I found some really neat things to work with it.  When I got done, I looked at what I had assembled and thought, yeah I could wear that, and actually, yeah I would LIKE to wear that.  They asked what my inspiration was for the outfit, and that was it really, what would I like to wear.

I then had all of my items ready and had to figure out someway to create a collage.  I turned to Google and found some instructions on how to create a pretty basic collage.  By this time my given time was running out, so I quickly assembled my outfit collage and saved it.  Whew!

Now, I am sitting here and typing this post, trying to get this post up before my given time is up.

So.... Why do this at all?????  One - I like being a style blogger and associating myself with anything style related, Two - this was super fun!  Three - I like a challenge, and this was challenging, Four - If ModCloth likes my outfit they will put up a link to my blog., Five - Why not????

Ooohhhh - also, if you have not checked out ModCloth, do so.  I am not getting anything by advertising for them, but I think they have super cute clothes.  I really like their mix of retro and modern.  I am so going to have to buy items from them, as they totally have a style that I like.  Oh and they have items in real people sizes, not just mini me sizes!

Lastly, I know that most of my readers are here from trans related links, which is totally cool, but some of you seem to not know what style blogging is all about and seem to think that any sort of advertising is going to the dark side.  Well, advertising what we like is partly what style blogging is all about.  I would never recommend a product or company to you that I do not personally like.  I do it mainly to share what I like, because I think that maybe you could enjoy it as well!  :)

Love ya!

Outfit for 3/31/14 & My New Purse!!!

       Top - Vince Camuto

Pants - Mossimo

Boots - Nine West

Coat - Guess

Purse - Coach

OMG, here is my new purse!!  Can you tell I am a bit excited by my new purse?

I really didn't think that I cared all that much about nice/designer purses.  I would always just get a purse that functioned and was reasonable in cost.  Then my good friend, Vivian, gave me a couple of coach purses.  They are super small, cutie purses, but not very functional for any everyday purse.  But I noticed that I really liked using them.

This inspired me to stop into the Coach store the last time I visited an outlet mall.  I walked right in and was handed a coupon for 50% off for that day only.  I walked the store, checked out the various bags and spotted a couple that I liked, but I did not commit to any.  Instead, I left the store with nothing.  I walked and shopped, and checked out other purses, but saw nothing else interesting.

On my way back to the car, I decided to go back to the Coach store.  But this time I was faced with a line to even get into the store.

I got into line and was still not sure if I was going to commit to a purse or not.  I waited for about 15 to 20 minutes and texted my wife and Vivian about the purse.  Eventually I got into the store and found the purse I spotted earlier.  I asked the sales lady how much it would cost.  She told me about $200.  Wow, could I really commit to such an expensive purse?  Gosh, I didn't know.

I walked the store a bit while holding onto the purse.  Eventually I decided and went to the counter.  The sales associate rung up my purchase as we chatted.  Imagine my surprise when the total was only $150.  Wow!  How cool!  I left the store pretty happy with my new purse.

But it was not until I went back to my hotel that evening and switched out from my old purse that I realized the super high quality of my new purse.  Wow, it is super nice!  It was about then I realized the difference between an ordinary purse and a quality purse.  There is a BIG difference people.

And the next day while I continued on my shopping trip, carrying around my new purse, I felt like a million bucks.  I even got a few complements on my new purse, which was super cool.  But the thing that kept amazing me was how awesome I felt.  It made me feel like I was a super star.  Weird how such a simple item can make you feel so great.

So yeah, I felt great, but it is a also a great functioning purse.  I super , super, super love it!!!

My First Meeting With Another CD

Dress - Black House White Market

Shoes - Nickles

I finally met another cross dresser and you know what?  It was totally, completely, and entirely, normal!

Fairly recently I joined crossdressers.com and decided to continue reaching out.  If you are familiar with the site I am sure you know of Jennifer, from Jenniferathome.  She gives great opinions and advice and I have enjoyed reading her posts.  Anywho, one day she emails and asks if I would like to meet up on an upcoming trip when she would be in Santa Monica.  I mailed back and said “yes!”

I live about 3 hours from Santa Monica, but being as I had a week off from work, I figured I would figure it out.  I mentioned the idea to Jules and she said she would love to come along as well.  So we set it all up and with anticipation I waited the week or so until the day arrived.

Jules and I left our place and headed to a town partway to LA and got pedicures.  We both chose something springtime and sparkly.  We then continued driving until I stopped and changed my clothes.  Neither of us wanted to wear our nice dresses to get our nails done and since I was driving, I needed to stop to change.    

I went from this:

Sweater - Jones of NY

Tank - Calvin Klein

Skirt - American Apparel

Shoes - Born O Concept

to the dress pictured up top.

We arrived way too early into Santa Monica.  Which was good as it helped my paranoia about being on time and dealing with LA traffic.  We ended up shopping a bit; where we both bought some cool silver bracelets. 

Eventually the time arrived for dinner and we headed to the restaurant.  Around reservation time Jennifer found us waiting outside the restaurant.  We all introduced ourselves and went inside.  We sat in a booth and ordered dinner.  The food was entirely just okay, but the conversation was great.  With very few people has time passed as quickly as it did that evening.  We must have talked for about 2-3 hours or so.   It was great.  The place was not busy at all so we got to just sit and talk and pick at our food.  I really enjoyed myself.

I didn't really want the evening to end, so I suggested a bit of shopping.  Being in Nordstroms, we headed downstairs to the shoes.  Jules and I tried on some shoes and while Jennifer looked around.  I found a few pairs of Manolo Blahnik.  I gingerly examined them, saw the prices and set the down very carefully!  It was really funny.  I was totally joking with the super nice sales associate about it.

We stepped out of Nordstroms and both Jennifer and I could tell that Jules’ leg was really bothering her.  So we said our farewells and parted company.  Honestly I was enjoying my time so much that I could have hung out for the better part of the evening.  But it just leaves more for next time.

For me the lasting impression of the evening was just how normal it all was.  Not a couple of weirdo’s hanging out with a woman, but just three normal folks having a very nice, normal dinner.

Thank you very much for the invite Jennifer and for a very lovely evening. 

Outfit for 3/13/14 - Red Skirt

Skirt - Charlotte Russe

Top - Wrapper

Shoes - Fitz Well

Purse - Coach

Unseen - Rago girdle

I absolutely love this skirt, but at the same time it really bugs me quite a bit.  I love it, because I think it is super cute.  It is nice and tight and stretchy, so it helps me look more curvy.  I also really like the color.  Yes, obviously I like red, but I really like this red.  It is super red.  Just straight up red.  No dark red, deep red, pink red, nope, just regular ol red.  Love it!

But then why does it bug?  It bugs because you can see just about every single thing underneath it.  It is the sort of skirt that almost demands you go commando!  Oh my!  Not something that a cross dresser has the option of doing.  Well unless your going for an entirely different sort of look than I am.  But I digress.  So anywho, I need to be careful of what I wear underneath this skirt.  And even then, you can still see any sort of pantylines underneath it.  I have a Rago girdle underneath that helps to smooth things out a bit, but you can still see the pattern of the lace on the girdle through the skirt.  What I need too find is a super tight, but super smooth girdle.

Hmm.... looks like I am in a position to do some shopping!  Woo-Hoo! Shopping!

Ok, gotta run.  Gotta go earn a living, cause I haven't won the lottery yet.  Wait a minute, to win, I suppose I need to play.  Hmm.... some of my thinking appears to be a bit problematic.

Love ya!  :)

Do you love you?

I am trying hard to love myself, but it is a minute by minute battle most days.

Clothes Storage - Revisiting my Dresser

You may or may not remember my original post on my dressers, but recently I made some changes that I thought I would share.

Not much has changed in this area.  This is my hidden jewelry box that is in the top of the dresser.  Notice in the other pictures you can't tell that the top lifts up?  Yeah, that is my invention.  Cool, huh?

Oh yeah, if you don't know, I built these dressers.  It is part of a cherry wood bedroom furniture set that I am constructing over time.  I have 3 dressers done and two nightstands.  I need to do the bed and a blanket chest still.

First change.  No more segregating my clothes.  It used to be that my female clothes were in one location and my male clothes were in another.  Now I have put all my clothes together.  If they are sweaters, they are all in the same drawer.  Same thing with shorts, shirts, etc.

  

Maybe in the picture above, as opposed to the one on the right, you can better see my inspiration Barbie.  She sits on top of a hat box on my little dresser and watches over me.  I suppose she is my fairy Barbie mother.

Okay in this picture you can see the other big change from the last time I showed you my dresser.  I saw a pin about rolling your clothes, so I tried it.  Wow, it works great!  There is so much more room in my drawers than before.  I was actually able to remove a bunch of stuff from my very cramped closet and get it to all fit in this drawer.

This is my sweater drawer.  Can you tell which ones are my male sweaters?  They tend to be the darker colored ones.  The sweaters I did not roll up, they are set on their sides.  Again, this was a huge space saver as well as allowing me to see all of my sweaters upon opening the drawer.

                                                                                                                                                          This drawer used to be impossible to deal with.  It contains all of my shorts and sweat pants.  The shorts did not get rolled, they are just placed on their sides.  The larger items, like sweats and such did get rolled and then placed on their sides.  I saved so much room in this drawer, and again I can actually see everything in it.  I love this drawer especially.

The bottom drawer.  This drawer contains all of my fancy work pants and all of my yard work pants.  Two things about this that I think are funny.  One - my work pants are now rolled and stuffed into a drawer, being as I rarely if ever wear them anymore.  yeah I kind of gave up on the fancy pants for work.  The second thing I find funny about this drawer is that in my yard work jeans section there are female jeans in there now.  I have finally owned some girl jeans long enough that they have made their way in my yard work jean section.  How funny.

 

Just a little quotey-poo for your Monday.

Learn to love yourself, because you live a life that deserves it.

Love life, because you live a life that deserves it.