Movie Outfit

Wedges - Aerosoles - TJMaxx

Skirt - Guess

White top - Guess

Black and white tank - Charlotte Russe 

We went to the movies today and saw The Avengers.   I thought that it was enjoyable.  The theater was quite full though and dressed as a woman, or a man, I prefer an emptier theater.  Oh well, it was fine, though I did almost tip over a bit while going past some seated people to get to our seats.  It was kind of a small walk space and the theater was already very dark and showing previews.  I handled it fine, it was actually just a momentary slight unbalance on my fairly tall new wedges.

I think I told you about the shoes that I am wearing a few posts ago.  They were purchased at TJMaxx, which I will again say is a great place to get good deals on great shoes!!  I really like the new shoes. They are quite a pop of color.

I don't know if I have mentioned how much I like the little tank I am wearing.  I picked it up at a random thrift store.  My wife and I were eating ice cream on the street and a lady saw us finish and then called out to us that we should come into her store.  We went in and looked around.  It was a nice place with quality clothes at good prices.  I happened to try on this tank.  My wife said she didn't think it would work for me, being as it is basically a sleeveless top with small little shoulder straps and looks kind of ridiculous.  But I had a vision for it, which is basically how I am wearing it in the picture.

Sizes of Clothes

Many fashion blogs that I read lament the fact that there is no standard among women's clothing sizes.  And I do agree, after having tried on many different women's clothes, from many different manufacturers, it is quite true that there is no industry standard for clothing sizes.  But what I take issue with, is women thinking that this is their burden alone to bear.  Ah not true ladies, not true.

A fascinating study was done and published on Esquire Magazine's site called: Are Your Pants Lying to You? An Investigation

If you look at the graphic on that site, it clearly shows that men have to deal with the same issues that women have to deal with.  No clothing manufacturer is actually being honest about what sizes of clothes they are actually selling.  And why would they be?  Because if they were, they probably would not be selling very many pieces of clothing.

For example, one of my newest favorite clothing stores is Loft. Part of the reason behind enjoying their clothes is that they are cute, but a big part of it is the sizing system they use there.  When I first shopped at this store I took a cute skirt to the dressing room and tried it on.  I want to say that the skirt was like a size 10 or 12.  Well, it did not fit, it was too big.  So I tried on the next smaller size, and it did not fit.  I repeated this process until I found one that fit, and it was a size 4.  Damn! Hot Damn! I was fitting into a size 4.  Do you think I bought that skirt! Oh hell yes!

What had happened?  Had I magically shrunk?  Nope, it is simply that Loft uses a different sizing standard than most other stores.  Look at the chart above.  If you have a 41 inch waist and shop at Old Navy, you may be under the impression and think you have a 36 inch waist.  If you suddenly start shopping somewhere that has their clothes honestly sized, you probably would not buy their clothes because they make you feel fat.

Well here is my advice boys and girls, don't buy clothes based on what the tag says the size is.  Buy them according to how they fit on you.  If they fit well and flatter your body, then buy it, regardless of what the tag says it is.

Where is the trans restroom?

I don't remember the first time that I was out dressed as a woman and had to use the restroom.  I really don't; which is interesting because it is a little uncomfortable for me and I would think that is something that I would remember, but I don't.  After years now of going out dressed as a woman, I'm a little more used to it, but it is still something of a concern for me as I often feel as though I am behind enemy lines.  I often feel as though I am  someplace that I do not belong and soon enough someone is going to spot me and call me out.  Honestly I often feel that way even when I am not in the women's restroom but it is especially acute when I am.  I feel uncomfortable enough about the situation that if there happens to be a line for the restroom I don't think I have ever waited in it.  I will hold it until I can find a more secluded place to go.  Now don't get me wrong, if I'm about to pee myself, I will use whatever restroom I can find.  I have even thought about just using the men's room if I really need to go and feel so uncomfortable about the ladies room, though I never have.

I do feel more comfortable now using the women's restroom than I ever have and honestly that is simply do to doing what I do, face my fears.  Trust me folks I was terrified before I ever set foot into a women's restroom, but I did it anyways.  I have certainly thought that while women have tolerated me while on the street, or shopping, or at the movie theater, or while eating dinner, women would never tolerate a man being in the women's room while they were going to the bathroom.  But honestly so far people have done exactly what they have always done with me, they have worked hard to avoid any potential conflict and nobody has ever said anything and I have been using the women's room now for about 5 years, at least.

Here is my advice about how to go about using the women's restroom.  Get in, do your business, and get out.  You don't need to doddle, to hang out, to look out of place.  It's fine to wait to in line, though I never have, it's fine to go to the bathroom, but please sit down like everyone else does in that room, wipe the seat if you dribble all over it, flush the toilet like a polite person should, arrange your clothes properly, don't forget your purse, which should have been hung on the door and not set on the floor, open the door, go wash your hands, check your hair and makeup, and then leave.

My main piece of advice for any of you is to act like a woman.  Mainly that means, do your thing without being concerned about others.  Most women do not look at people the same way that men will.  Women will look at other human beings quite a bit, but in general they will not let you see them looking at you.  To me, a born and raised male, this just feels odd.  It feels as though I am acting like a stuck up snob.  But at the same time it is kind of a freeing attitude which goes like this - "I am going to do what I need to do and I'm not going to worry about what you think about it."

Okay?  So that is my personal advice and history and thoughts about using the restroom.  Now while looking through the web for a graphic I spotted all sorts of things about trans people using restrooms like the following:

The Best Little Trans Bathroom Controversy In Texas

This Ain't Stayin' In Vegas-Cosmopolitan Hotel Has Trans Bathroom Issues

How To: Find a Gender-Neutral Restroom

http://www.goodasyou.org/good_as_you/2006/10/worldnet_raises.html

Flushing the “Bathroom Bill” Fear Once and For All

Here are my final thoughts on this topic for today:  We need to stand up for ourselves and not be afraid of what others will say or do to us because of who we are.  It's such a sad thing that having to go to the bathroom results in all of this discrimination.

Fear is a powerful thing.

Warm Weather Again

White Top - Guess

Tank Top - Guess

Shorts - Guess

Shoes - Life Stride

We had a warm day about a week or two ago and we needed to go do some shopping.  I decided that it was time to try to wear shorts for the first time this year.  I was a little cold when we first went out, but within a few hours things had warmed up and I was fine.  The other thing is that generally I am quite warm when I go out dressed as a woman being as I have on what is essentially a polyester cap; my wig.

That was a little fact that I didn't really get when I went out to dinner with my wife dressed as a girl for the first time.  The only table available in the restaurant was one next to the fireplace.  By the time dinner ended I had sweat rolling down just about every part of me.  Luckily it didn't roll down my face at all.

Anyway, the day that I wore this outfit we had quite a bit of shopping to do.  We went to Macy's to get some Clinique items, then to Target, made a quick stop at TJMaxx, got some lunch, then went and got our nails done, and finished out shopping by going to Costco.  It was a decent day made even better by the new shoes I picked up at TJMaxx.  If you haven't gone to TJMaxx yet, I highly recommend it.  They quite often have great shoes at a great discount.  The shoes I got are some blue fabric wedges.  They are made by Aerosoles.  I think they are super cute and will have to show them to you soon.

I hope you are all doing well.

Update on Waxing

Alright it has been quite a bit of time since the last time that I wrote about waxing, in fact it has been about a year.  During that time I have done what I said I was going to, I have experimented with waxing and tried to have an open mind regarding the results.  Within this post I will try and give more details of my personal experience with waxing.

When I first tried waxing I used some of the products that you might find at the supermarket or Target.  These products were not always designed for thick hair that I and most males have.  I did not get very good results from these amateur products.

I eventually went to Sally Beauty Supply and got myself a wax warmer, made by Gigi, and I experimented with different types of wax.  Lately I have been using the Dark Honee wax and have been getting very good results. This waxing system that I am currently using is more along the lines of what professional waxers would use.  The heating system is very consistent and keeps the wax at appropriate temperatures and the wax itself is very good at gripping the thickest of my body hairs without ripping off my skin.

My process has been one of trial and error and I have gotten better at the process over time.  When I first started waxing I was really only able to wax certain parts of my body.  My arms and legs were the easiest, translated as less painful.  But with my legs I was never able to wax my inner thighs.  My inner thighs were way too painful and sensitive.  I also tried waxing my chest, which was extremely painful and would generally bleed when I ripped off those deep thick hairs.  I tried waxing my belly but again it was way too painful.  Eventually over time I got more and more used to the feeling and the procedure of waxing and have been able to wax pretty much my entire body.  Areas that I do not wax would include my Mr. Happy and my arms pits.  So waxed areas would be my arms, chest, belly, my full legs, my butt and my butthole.  Oops was that too much information for some of you?  Well sorry I just want to give an accurate reporting of what I do.

So the results of all of this waxing?  The result is not perfect.  It is not exactly what I first pictured when I thought about waxing.  I thought I would get silky smooth, completely hairless skin, but that is not the results that I am getting.  This has to do with the growth cycle of hair.  Not all of your body hair grows at the same time.  When you wax your hair you will remove the longer hairs, but underneath that are hairs that are just starting to grow.  So I do not see long black hairs when I am done, but I can still feel stubble.  That stubble grows out within a short time.

What this means is that I still have to rely upon shaving to get smoother skin.  But when I am shaving I only have about 25% of the hair to have that I originally had.  So the shaving goes so much quicker and the results of shaving are that much better.

The one thing that I really like about waxing is that at any given time I have much less hair growing.  The hair on my arms grows back the slowest, my legs are the next quickest and my chest grows back the fastest of all.  What I am interested in trying now is to figure out what will happen if I decrease the time period between my waxing.  I think that if I decrease that time period that I may be able to pull out much more of my hairs and get a much smoother result.

The bottom line of this report is that when I first tried waxing, I hated it, but now I like it.  It is not perfect, but it is getting much better.  Practice makes perfect I suppose.

What are your experiences?  You now you could leave a comment and I will try and respond about it.  I do have anonymous comments enabled, so feel free to share your own experiences.

Photo - This photo is of the waxing product that I actually use, and I personally highly recommend it.  I have tried many different brands, be the Gi-Gi waxing system and products work great!

One of my favorite outfits

I really like the simplicity of this outfit.  I'm pretty sure that I bought the jeans at Walmart and the top at Target. What I think that I see from this outfit is it doesn't really matter where you buy your clothes.  What matters is, do your clothes fit and do they flatter your body shape.  

I think these pants look good on me and the white wash of them helps to make my legs look long and lean.  The top is also nice because it is really fitted to the skinniest part of my torso while bunching up around my bust.  I also like that it has long arms that go all the way to my hands.

I think the other thing I like about this outfit is the picture that my wife took of me while wearing it.  It happens to be one of my favorite pictures.  Also I think this picture is about a year or two old.  But I still really like the outfit.

Out and About for the First Time - Part 2

I think the first time that my wife appeared to be frightened about me being a transvestite was when I told her that I would like to go out in public dressed as a woman.  In hindsight this is when my wife's problems with facing fear became painfully evident.  At the time I was too painfully insecure about myself to really notice what was going on with my wife.  I took every way that she was behaving as a signal to me that I shouldn't be doing what I was interested in doing.  I always looked to her for support but she was unable to support me in my endeavors.  Which was odd to me at the time because before this she had always been very supportive of my crossdressing.  Really what was happening to my wife was just an extension of the life that she began living long before she ever met me.  See my wife is the type of person that can't handle fear.  Fear of any kind.  Where apparently I am the type of person that has chosen to face my fears.

And that is what prompted me to go out dressed as a woman.  Before this point I had dressed as a woman in the privacy of my own house for many years.  Though I don't remember if I had dressed fully as woman for that long before I started pondering going out.  Once I dressed fully, clothes, wig, makeup, I began considering going out as a woman.  I think that at the time, which must have been about 4 years ago or so at least, all that I was really interested in was proving that I could go out as a woman.

Thinking about it from my wife's perspective it had to appear to be pretty odd.  Why exactly would someone want to go out dressed as a woman if not for some purpose that would threaten a marriage?  This would be very concerning for any wife that enjoys her marriage.  The thing was that really I only wanted to go out to prove that I could.

You see, I was terrified to go out dressed as a woman, and that was the reason that I needed to go out dressed as a woman.  Simply because I was afraid of going.  My fear about going out dressed as a woman was making it become bigger than it was.  There is something about many people, myself included, something that I think may actually affect everyone, when we are told that we can't have something it makes it so we want it all the more.  We may never have even wanted it, but when we are told that we can't have it, we desire it with a passion.

Maybe I am wrong about this affecting everyone, but I know that it affects me deeply.  By being afraid of going out dressed as a woman, in some way I was trying to convince myself that it was something that I couldn't have.  By thinking I couldn't, it made it become something illicit and I desired it all the more.  I realized that I began fantasizing about what it might feel like.  How freeing it would be.  And I started thinking about it almost every single day.  I began to wonder if maybe I wasn't just a crossdresser but a woman trapped inside of a man's body.  Why after all would I think about it day after day, daydreaming and fantasizing about going out dressed as  a woman.

I didn't let this go on for very long before I forced myself to go out dressed as a woman.  And now, years later  I can tell you all that by no means am I anything except for your average everyday ordinary crossdresser.  I don't want to be a woman full time.  Honestly it's just too much work.  But I would never know that if I didn't get past my fear about just trying it.  Because I am the type of person who will force himself to do things simply because I am afraid of it.

Now keep in mind I'm only talking about fears in my mind, not things that maybe one should be afraid of like say a saber toothed tiger roaring down upon you.  Fears of the mind are vicious cruel little things. Like I couldn't go out dressed as a woman because:
     - people would laugh at me
     - nobody would accept me as a woman
     - people would be angry with me
     - my clothes would somehow betray me by falling off or flipping up or who knows what
     - someone I know will see me
     - I was too embarrassed
     - my wig would fall off in the wind, in my food, while leaning down
     - someone would try and kick my ass

This is only what I can think of right now.  The point is, at the time I personally didn't know IF any of those things would actually EVER happen.  But I used them to stop myself from just simply trying.  It occurred to me to try and yet I stopped myself by picturing only the worst possible things that might possibly happen.  I just had to try.  I had to.

And now?  Now after years of trying I can tell you how much more intelligent that I am today.  I know not only myself far better than I did before I tried but I also have an appreciation for humanity that I never had before.  I always pictured the worst of humanity and thus only saw the worst.  I made it so that  I didn't like people because I always pictured them as being bad.  Thus far in my journeys I can tell you that after all the years and all the people that I have ever interacted with only one was ever rude to me.  Far more people have been rude to me while dressed as a guy.  In fact while dressed as a girl people have actually gone above and beyond in treating me not just politely but genuinely nicely.  And what I have observed is the more relaxed, and less fearful I have been, the nicer that people are to me.

Face your internal fears and be set free or don't try and hate yourself and humanity.

Be careful, be thoughtful, but be determined to see the best the world has to offer you.