Black & White Leggings

Leggings - Connection18 - Similar

Tunic - Guess - Similar

Tank - Guess

Belt - White House Black Market - Similar

Booties - Madden Girl - Similar

Well, you know how much I love black and white, right?  Thus when I saw these leggings at Marshalls I had to get them.  Besides the color, they were super cheap, and they are super comfy as they feel like super soft sweat pants.  Wow!

I am getting more comfortable wearing leggings while out and about.  It originally felt as though I was almost naked while wearing them.  There really is not much of any male analogues out there for stretch pants.  Thus I was completely unfamiliar with the feeling of walking around in super tight thin pants, that I pretty much forget about even having on.  When I wore these out this past Saturday, I didn't feel weird at all!  Yay!  (It's the little victories people!)

Oh, yeah.... I wore this particular outfit out to a movie.  Jules and I finally saw Batman vs. Superman.  Prior to seeing it, I kept wondering, why would these two people fight each other?  Now I get it!  I think it was a good show, but I am kind of getting a bit burned out on comics turned into movies.

Love you!

Love yourself!

Love leggings!

Gender Fluid? Gender Phooey!

Frequently when I attempt to discuss my gender with others, they will say, 'oh, well you are gender fluid.'   As of late, it has been occurring so much, that when I hear it, I throw up a little in my mouth.  Okay, well that just may be a bit of an exaggeration, but seriously, I am a bit sick of people telling me that I am gender fluid.

Do you know what gender fluid means people?  Let's take a look at this definition:
Gender fluid is a gender identity which refers to a gender which varies over time. A gender fluid person may at any time identify as male, female, neutrois, or any other non-binary identity, or some combination of identities. Their gender can also vary at random or vary in response to different circumstances.
(Taken from: http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Gender_Fluid )

In response to this outpouring of "Nadine is gender fluid" folks, I created the above graphic.  My gender identity never changes, thus instead of referencing me as gender fluid, it would be far more accurate if you referenced my gender as gender static.  While my presentation fluctuates, my identity never changes.

After making this graphic, I realized that it may also help to explain my gender variance to those people in my life that have said "Oh, well you are eventually going to transition," and those who have said "Oh, so you have no gender issues, and you see yourself as a male, and really this is all just about the pretty clothes for you."

See folks, here is my biggest difficulty in discussing my gender with many people, the vast majority of the world is perfectly fine, and accepting of the idea of a gender binary.  People are either male or female.  And when trying to explain to someone how I don't feel male, they think, oh well then you are female.  And when trying to explain to someone how I don't feel female, they think, oh well then you are male.  Why?  Because their concept of gender has only two positions, you are either male or you are female.  There are no other options.

I understand this stuff coming from cisgender folk, but it has confused the hell out of me when it comes from other transgender people.  But the reality is that a large number of the transgender community is also perfectly fine with the gender binary.  For example those who transition from one gender to the other, guess what??  Yup, gender binary.

Me?  To understand me, you have to accept that there can be genders that exist outside of the gender binary.  Sometimes I feel like how Galileo must have felt talking with people, saying, the Earth rotates around the sun.  It is reality, all you need to do is accept it.

Accept it people.

Love you!

Black Lace Dress

Dress - White House Black Market - Similar

Sweater - 69th & Madison - Similar

Belt - White House Black Market - Similar

Shoes - Nine West - Similar

Necklace - ????? - Similar

Okay so this picture is not a recent one.  I took it awhile back, I think in September of last year, but somehow I never ended up posting it.  Which is kind of funny, because I really like it!  It is totally in my style, black, lace, and nice and snug up against my torso.

I totally remember when I purchased it as well.  I happened to be shopping solo at a White House Black Market outlet store up in Livermore California.  As usual I browsed the entire store picking out various article to try on, with this dress being one of them.  One of the sales associates started a room for me, and I that time it had been a male.

Anywho.... I amazingly was able to get this dress on and zip up the back zipper all by myself.  Which was quite the accomplishment by itself!  Then I did something I rarely do, I went out of the dressing room and checked myself out in the mirrors there.  That is when the sales associate did the best thing ever, he came up and said I had to buy that dress as I looked so very cute in it.  Several other customers agreed.

I told them all thank you, but I didn't know if I should get that size or a size up, as it was a bit snug.  The sales associate quickly grabbed the next size up and had me try it on.  I was wrong, it wouldn't work, it was kind of shlumpy looking.  It bunched up in the wrong areas and did not look crisp and clean.  Thus I bought the original one I had tried.

So..... there you go..... my very exciting dress purchasing experience.

Okay.... that's it!

Hope you all are doing lovely!

Love you!

Love yourself!

Buy something you love!

Interesting Internet 2

From Monterey Bay Aquarium

Could you imagine going here?  -  I have got to figure out how to make this happen!

What are some feelings that some transgender folk have about dating?  Personally I feel fortunate to be in a marriage already but I am convinced that if this relationship ever should end that I will live the rest of my life alone.

My fave blogger, Sally, over at AlreadyPretty, wrote a fantastic article about figure diversity.  Have I mentioned to you before that I SO love her site because of her message of body acceptance?  It is a very healthy viewpoint that I know I struggle with.  Hmm... that's right I am transgender!

Why do so many people hate transgender people?  This is an interesting list, worth the read over at least.

These photo sets are hilarious!!  Maybe we should all drink a glass of wine before taking our pictures.  Do you notice how much more emotive the people are with 1 glass?  But by the time they reach 3, they look more than a little blotto!!

Okay, so I have recently found a few videos from Brene Brown that are FASCINATING!!!  I hope you enjoy them as much as I have!!

On Empathy

On Blame

The Power of Vulnerability

Great Jacket - Just Not With This Outfit

Jacket - Mondetta - Similar

Tunic - White House Black Market - Similar

Jeans - Levi:Denizen

Shoes - Naturalizer - Similar

Now that I can see how this jacket goes with this outfit, I'm happy I left it in the car! I purchased it about two weeks ago at Marshall's, at a super discount.  I am thrilled by the purchase as I have been looking for a jacket like this for a little bit.  I really don't have much female outer wear and was specifically hoping to be able to purchase something along these lines.

So..... even though I don't like it with this outfit, I am still in love with this item.  Yay for me!!  I had taken it with us when we went to get our nails done again, just in case I got cold.

It was just another totally exciting day!  We had our nails done and then we headed off to CostCo.  Simply thrilling huh?

Did you notice the necklace that I am wearing?  It was my moms.  I did a larger post about it over at Already Pretty.  So if you have yet to see it, go check it out over there.  Here is a closer pic of it.

Okie dokie!  That is it for now!

Love you!

Love yourselves!

Gender Non-Conforming - Phone Case

Recently I upgraded my phone.  I had a Galaxy S3, that was a couple of years old and thus decided to go for a new Galaxy S3.  I really like the phone.  I hate the way that cell carriers decided to change their pricing for phones.  I never had any problem with signing a two year contract and getting a new phone.  I am not one who needs a new phone each time one comes out.  And besides, I have to stick with my cell company, contract or not, as it is the only service I receive at my house!

Anywho....  with a new phone, comes a new case.  Well, this time I decided to actually get a case.  While I like my phone it is large, and does not fit into my pockets; especially being as I have taken to wearing girl jeans pretty much all of the time.  Those darn tiny pockets!!  Ugh!!

Jules and I went to the mall and searched the center kiosks for phone cases.  I had seen ones like the style pictured above and thought that it would be pretty convenient and so I narrowed my search down to that style.

And then came the big decision....... what color should I choose????  Of course I was drawn to all of the "wrong" (think female) colors.  I wanted this one, but I just wasn't sure how it would be perceived by others if I got this one.

Could you imagine?  I wear female jewelry, both ears are pierced, I wear female clothing, carry a female Coach wallet, and have my nails painted in obvious female styles, and still what am I worried about?  If a pinkish/red phone case is going to make people think things of me.

Damn!  I'm certifiably crazy.

And still...... I was nervous about buying it.  And since having it, I have been nervous to show it around certain people.  I really wish I could just do me without worry.

Its like with every new thing I have to prove to MYSELF that it is OKAY to do it.  It never is what anybody else thinks of me.  These are MY thoughts, MY worries, MY lack of acceptance of MYSELF.  And I try and brush it off onto Joe public.

So.... while I do stress about this stuff, I still go ahead and do it.  And Joe public?  They prove what they always prove..... they don't give a shit about what I am doing.

It is only me.

I want to love myself better.

Interesting Internet

A gorgeous iris from my yard!

A few internet links that I have found interesting as of late:

Diamond rain on various planets!!  - OMG, are you serious?  When are we going to get our little human butts off to these places so that we can scoop up rockets full of diamonds?

Here is an easy way to get to the moon!  Just fold some paper!!  Hahahahaha

Seriously??  How can these facts be true???

So..... I can't believe I am sharing this link as I don't like sharing hatred, but it needs to be known how the enemy thinks.  Here is some unbelievable crap spewing.

Have I mentioned  before how much I LOVE Eddie Izzard?  Well I DO!  He is fantastic.  He just finished running 27 marathons in 27 days!  Could you imagine?  No, neither can I.  What dedication!  Well he also spoke about how being transgender has helped him.

It's Bound to Happen

So here I am, Nadine, in my normal state!  Ha!  Seriously, this is how I normally am dressed; in sort of this half and half state.  It is honestly when I feel the most comfortable with myself.  Not fully presenting as a woman, nor fully presenting as a man.  Though I do consider this as my male presentation.

In this photo I am wearing my newest top from Target, it is kind of a cowl neck hoodie.  Um...super cute!  I also have on my dark wash Levi Denizen jeans.  What you may or may not be able to see is that I also am wearing the smallest set of breast forms that I own.  Well actually, the only set of forms that I own, which I think are also the smallest that they sell.  I rarely wear them, but they work out quite nicely with sports bras, which I also have on.  The rest of my ensemble is male; my beanie, and my shoes.

Anywho.... do I have a point to my story? Why yes, thanks for asking!

I tend to put on something like this after work and take care of my dogs.  This often involves letting them out into the front yard and running around our property, throwing bumpers, and generally having fun.  Jules, my two dogs, and I were in the process of this the other day when we heard one of our neighbors ask if she could come by and take some pictures of us with our dogs.

At the time we were maybe about twenty feet away with a bunch of plants between us.  Jules and I look say, yeah sure, we're just hanging out with the dogs, and trying to pull some weeds up in our front field.  Our neighbor walks the twenty feet over to us and we begin chatting.  Me?  Uhh.... sort of freaking out a bit, but I just go on about my business, as though this was all just as normal as it could possibly be!

Fake it tell you make it baby!!

We hung out for a bit, chatting for about fifteen minutes or so before we said our goodbyes.  She did not take pictures during that time, and I did not encourage her.  But really, everything appeared to be totally normal; just like any other day!

Jules and I got back down to our house, looked at each other, and said "well, that just happened."

I assume that my neighbors have all gotten good looks of me.  I dress this sort of half and half way pretty much all of the time.  As well as frequently dressing up fully, freely coming and going from my house.  But in terms of having a face to face conversation with any of them, it has never happened while I have been fully dressed.  But even this half and half sort of state is rare!  I think it has only happened one other time.

This being the second time, it was easier.  Which I am happy about.  I am beginning to see more clearly that people are going to follow my lead.  If I am okay with what I am doing, and genuinely act like I am okay with what I am doing, they will reciprocate that.

Love you!

Love others!

Love yourself!