Blogging is weird. I like it, but it is weird. I often wonder: Who am I writing this blog for, the reader, or the writer? I suppose the reality is a little bit of both.
If I was purely writing this blog for the readers then maybe I would not write some of the things that I do. I would probably stick to non-controversial subjects. Funny. Being a cross dresser is controversial in and of itself. Not that I think it is, but many in the public appear to.
Recently I wrote a post about not being a Halloween costume. After that post the number of visitors to my blog dropped in half. A bit of investigation revealed the cause of both my up and down. A very popular blogger had included me on their reading list. But after the controversial post, they removed me from their personal reading list.
That particular blogger had posted up about their Halloween adventures in fem and clearly had taken offense at my opinion. This really made me think, why am I blogging? Am I blogging to please the public, or at least a segment of the public, or am I blogging for myself? Do I care about numbers of visitors more, or being true to myself?
The answer is, I care more about being true to myself. I care about my readers, in fact I am amazed that anyone reads the drivel that I spew. But I will not compromise my beliefs to increase a page count. What beliefs are those? The one that says, there is nothing wrong with voicing an opinion.
I voiced an opinion, that personally, for me, I choose to not dress as a woman on Halloween. I am sorry that is so upsetting for some of you. But in voicing my opinion on this topic, I never said that I don't think you should dress. I simply said, that I would not do that.
If by voicing my opinion you choose to not read my blog anymore, that is your choice. But instead of getting upset and leaving, I really wish you would voice your opinions on the topic, whatever it may be. Begin a dialogue. Talk. Voice your opinion.
All too often, throughout my life, my opinions have proven to be controversial. Generally what has happened is that I voice an opinion and instead of someone giving me an opposing viewpoint to consider, they have gotten upset. If they say anything, they tell me that I have upset them. That is not voicing an opinion about the topic at hand, it is voicing an opinion on a new topic; that I should not speak up about how I see the world.
Well for you constant readers of my blog, please understand, while I know my opinions are controversial on occasion, the thing I love the most is a good dialogue. And good dialogues often come from opposing viewpoints.
So, if you ever disagree with me, be brave and tell me your opinion. I would love to hear it!
Speak up for yourself.
Be brave.
It is important!
Love you!
- Oh and yeah as a footnote to this conversation, some of you might be surprised at the number of cross dressing bloggers I have reached out to and attempted to make some sort of network with, but they are not interested in any sort of cross promotion with me. Which I find to be funny. I think we need to stick together, even if we disagree with each other's views. Far more often than not, CDing bloggers don't want to have anything to do with me. We should not be so divided, if we can't support each other, can we honestly expect any support from the general public?
Great post Nadine. I found myself saying "Yes!" over and over.
ReplyDeleteI wonder about who all those Chinese and Russian readers are who never leave a comment. :-)
Thanks Halle. Yeah, I do wonder about foreign readers. Google translate really opens up the blog to the world huh?
DeleteYour thoughts are right on.. Thank you for your comments. Some day soon I hope to be able to express my self as easily as you do. Love Charlene
DeleteYour thoughts are right on. Thank you for your blog. Someday soon I hope to have the confidence you have in expressing myself. Charlene
DeleteHi Charlene-
DeleteThanks for the affirmation. I appreciate it.
Confidence in expressing ourselves? Yeah that is a tough one. It takes guts to do each and every little bit. But over time, and lots of little bits, I can look around and see my confidence has grown. Unfortunately often the only way to get the confidence ball rolling, is to take the first step and that first step is generally the hardest part!
Good luck to you!
I really like your blog...but only do it if you like doing it...you probably don't get paid enough to do it for us fans!
ReplyDeleteYou come across as very honest and open. I don't know who delinked you, but I would bet they are phony bologna. It is refreshing to read someone that is not living in some fantasy world...just living your life.
Thanks and only keep at this if you like it.
Paid for blogging? Ha! I used it to get a discount on a wig once. And that was great. I got it for about 50% off! Steal!
DeleteBut seriously, I do like blogging. It connects me with others in ways that would not be possible otherwise. I like posting up my outfits. I like spreading different viewpoints. But most of all, I like connecting with other humans! :)
Thanks!
The fact that the number of readers changed because a popular blogger added and removed you to and from their reading list shows how easily influenced some people are by others opinions.
ReplyDeleteI've said it to a friend in the past who posts the odd controversial thing on Facebook. I might disagree with her opinions and I might decide that I'm not going to read what she posts but I'm not going to ditch her because of them as that's part of what makes our friendship so much more interesting.
Hi Jenna-
DeleteI agree that many people are quite easily influenced. Also people are habitual. If they find a website through another site, they will almost always continue to follow that path. Frequently I get repeat visitors through certain sites, but rarely through folks actually typing in my web address. Interesting for sure!
I feel that friendships grow the best with people being able to express various opinions and have lively discussions, instead of being fearful of committing various offenses.
Thanks cutie!
Ah, so that's why your blog stopped showing up in the usual places I was getting to it from. Well, now I will come directly here. Your post didn't offend me. I can't recall being offended by any of your posts ever. I guess you'll have to try harder! ha ha
ReplyDeleteBest wishes to you and your wife and happy duck hunting!
Thanks for the well wishes on duck hunting; I had a great hunt just yesterday actually!
DeleteThanks for continuing to read and not be offended!
Hi Nadine, I haven't posted any comments in a while because I just been too busy. I do read your blogs. Keep up the good work.Still waiting for the work out wear. ( yoga pants, shorts). Thanks, T
ReplyDeleteHi T!
DeleteI know people are quite busy. I too am kept quite busy and don't always have the time to comment on everything I read. That would be a full time job!
I keep pondering the workout wear. I do have a pair of yoga pants I wear consistently, but just not fully dressed as a woman. Maybe someday though huh?
Thanks!
Nadine -
ReplyDeleteI've always reading your blog, though I don't go to it on a daily basis....
Hopefully, you've read my blog (crossingts.blogspot.com) as well and enjoyed it.....
M
Hi Marian-
DeleteThanks so much for reading my blog, I appreciate it. And yes I have read yours as well and enjoy it. Thanks!
Hi Nadie
ReplyDeleteI smiled when I read your “blogging is weird” and “who and I writing this blog for”. I have asked myself the same question and I’ve only been up and running for a week! Thanks for following by the way.
People can be fickle Nadine, there will always be those who will be offended with whatever you say, don’t in anyway dilute your opinions, that’s the last thing we want. If someone does not concur with one’s view point they can leave it be or begin as you said a dialogue. I always see it as a benefit to have constructive discourse with others (I emphasise the word constructive here), you either confirm your view point to some extent or come away with food for thought.
As to drivel Nadine, keep it coming! It helps the rest of us to cope with our own!
Although Abigale hasn’t been around that long, I have had a few non-replies in trying to make contacts. You’re right we need to stick together. And talking about sticking. My old history teacher persevered for years trying to make us learn about the Tudors. She had a saying “If you throw enough mud at a wall some of it will stick”.
So don’t give up trying to network.
Abigale
PS: Also congratulations! Now into your 5th. blog year of throwing mud!
Hi Abigail -
DeleteThank you so much for commenting. Also, I am enjoying your blog. Good luck with it. Blogging can get weird at times!
Wow, I had not even noticed that my blog birthday has come and gone, over a month ago actually!
Thanks for your thoughts sweetie! I so appreciate it.
As Ricky Nelson sang after his participation in a show at MSG,
ReplyDelete"If memories were all I sang, I'd rather drive a truck"
But it's all right now, I've learned my lessons well,
You see, you can't please everyone, son you got to please yourself".
You are one of us who has found your own unique way of pushing the envelop. I admire your courage and your drive. I envy your figure, good looks, ability to present as a believable lady and the freedom you have carved out to enable you to 'do your thing'.
While you do need to write for yourself, I for one always enjoy what you have to say and while I cannot always come out of the closet and present myself to the world while dressed in a skirt, top, hose and heels I can surely come forward to comment on your opinions and writings.
Keep on keeping on.
Pat
Hi Pat-
DeleteWell thank you so much! Your words and thoughts are super kind. You are such a prolific reader and commenter Pat, I always see your comments around the blogosphere. Being so well read, I so appreciate your continued participation in my little corner of the net.
Your words are very touching. Thanks!
I simply LOVE that outfit, especially the top. MUST HAVE.
ReplyDelete(if this blog had a name/email vs. name/URL, I'd use it)